The mullet is no longer just a hair-cut, it has spawned into a species that fits in the lower hierarchy of society. A mullet, by definition, is actually Any of various stout-bodied, edible fishes of the family Mugilidae, found worldwide in tropical and temperate coastal waters and some freshwater streams. What kind of lifestyles do the mullets live and what kind of stereotype do they develop from it? Theres more to a mullet than just a definition. The traditional hair style of nobility and learned men, comprising of the short front, long back configuration.
One common myth is that the Mullet hair style gets its name from the like-named breed of fish. Legend has it the fishmongers of Iceland cultivated the hair style to keep their necks warm and dry against the North Atlantic spray. Nothing could be further from the truth! The Mullet, has its origin in the ancient Palaces and Universities of Poland. Mullet is actually a compound word combining the words “mull” to ponder, and “et” a Polish suffix meaning eternally.
Thus the Mullet gets its name from those who were forever engaged in intellectual processes. The mullet, as this cut is properly and notoriously known, is perhaps the most derided hairdo on earth, at least among chic urbanites. It is the haircut preferred by the sort of people for whom coffee comes with doughnuts, not lemon twists — country singers, high-school bullies, farm kids, hockey players, wrestlers, truck drivers, recent husbands of Elizabeth Taylor. Thus, a mullet is no longer a haircut, but a species based on how society classifies them.
For example, when someone walks down a street a points to the haircut, they dont say look at the person with the mullet, its typically the haircut labels the person. Their stereotype developed mostly from the mid 70s from the butt-rock era. Typical bands to represent a mullet are: Winger, Scorpions, Dio, Ted Nugent, The Marshall Tucker Band, Metallica (1990-present), Whitesnake, Def Leppard, Journey, Krokus, Accept, W. A. S. P. , Van Halen, Sammy Hagar, Slash’s Snakepit. Most of these cases are spouse abusers and drug addicts.
Given that the Beastie Boys have gone so far as to write a song called “Mullet Head” (featuring Adrock’s first-ever guitar solo, no less). Our lives would definitely be lacking without the Mullet. While most people say “another day, another dollar,” we say “another day, another Mullet,” as each new dawn brings with it the promise of another Mullet sighting.
We openly engage in this elitist pursuit because we’d like to think that our obsession with the Mullet is a salute to the most entertaining manifestations of the everyday world, i. , a harmless conversion of other people’s mundane human appearances into our own entertainment. How “Free” can the “free word” be when the so-called Leader of the Free World, Bill Clinton himself, used to have something dangerously close to a Mullet (while his kid brother Roger to this day maintains a full blown bi-level perm)? In comparison to the true definition, an interview process was required. When asked, What is the similarity? most replied based on the intelligence of the two creatures that being very dumb.
In fish and human hierarchies, they both rank pretty low as well. Black people have Mullets, too. In fact, some of our best friends are black people, with Mullets. The one Ice-T had in that movie with Judd Nelson was particularly fierce, as was the literally cartoonish cut that Bishop from the X-Men comic book used to have. Of course there’s always the rare but deadly Dreadlocked Mullet, a look last seen on the now-defunct wet-suit wearing combo Living Colour, and most likely the reason Lee Perry once remarked that “dread fuck up as far as I’m concerned.
Probably the best-known Black Mullet is the Jheri Curl Mullet or “Poodle Cut” long preferred by pro basketballer Michael Cage and eventually appropriated by your boy Jean Claude Van Damme. The Poodle Cut’s female cousin, the “Braided” or “Peep” Mullet, originally inspired by Bo Derek by way of Rick James, has actually become such a problem in most major cities that a Congressional Subcommittee recently opened an inquiry into the matter.
While the picture-perfect Mullet requires an Aryan, straight-as-a-door head of hair, many different people of many different ethnicities can and do sport Mullets that are as varied and vulgar as the peoples themselves. First off, let us not forget the Female Mullet, initially popularized in the post-modern era, as Dr. Tamra Davis points out, by Suzanne Pleshette on The Bob Newhart Show and Florence Henderson in The Brady Bunch. The “Femullet” was later perfected by tomboy tennis pro Martina Navritalova, both on the court and off (i. e. , in the dyke bars).
In fact, the Mullet is one of the most popular looks among lesbians, a diabolical irony given that those women who are least interested in men are invariably drawn to the most atrocious male hairstyle. Again, you figure it out. The gay male Mullet, by the way, has become virtually extinct after being momentarily in vogue amongst the perennially with-it homosexual populace during its glam-rock heyday (see “The Origin of the Modern Mullet”). Thus the Mullet does not discriminate, though it is rare to see one worn by a senior citizen of any stripe.
Note, however, that Gray Mullets, like the Charley Pride “Silver Fox”-style shag that Entertainment Weekly editor emeritus Greg Sandow sports, are relatively prevalent due to the large number of ’60s hippies and ’70s swingers still stubbornly running around). So don’t think that you need to have Sly Stallone’s stylized headband-Rambo pageboy or the classic porno star/pro wrestler rug in order to fully enjoy the benefits of the bi-level. Finding the right Mullet ” to match or adapt to any given mug requires only a certain amount of hair and a barber who’s willing and able.
Which brings up the final and most important point about the Mullet: its universality. For unlike the Warren Beatty Shampoo era fagshag, which forced men to frequent unisex hair stylists in a vain Kato Kaelin-type attempt to emulate Farah Fawcett’s feathered flipbacks, the Mullet requires but a simple operation that can be obtained virtually anywhere in America (presumptuous college towns and snotty bohemian enclaves aside). Whither the Mullet? Alas, if only it would wither away and die. But of that there is little hope.
To be sure, Richard Marx and several of the Philadelphia Phillies have forsaken their Mullets for more manageable, less mangy hair, as has heavy metal mascot Rikki Rachtman, Faith No More bassist Billy Gould and tennis brat Andre Agassi, among others (see our E Z-Read Before-And-After Comparo Chart below). The lifelong Mullet Heads like construction-worker-turned-Liz Taylor beard Larry Fortensky have jockeyed their way into the very “Corridors of Power. ” And to paraphrase P. T. Barnum, there’s a Mullet born every minute.
The most recent celebrity to succumb is probably James Hettield of Metallica, who must have become tired of being told that he looked like The Cowardly Lion because he’s gone and borrowed the burly Paramilitary Mullet long developed by bandmate Jason Newsted (who, in turn, has cut his hair normally). So while entire Mullet genres like Motley Crue-esque femme-metal have died off, whole new subcultures have mushroomed in their place -like cyberpunk, which unfortunately has very little to do with punk, at least as far as hair goes.
In particular, one of the foremost sci-fi authors of our day, Bruce Sterling, has what eminent futurologist Dr. Erik Davis admits is “an egregious Mullet. ” In conclusion, it seems as though mullets will never die out because there is society backlashing at those who have the mullet haircut. Trends usually die out to the point where they are made fun of, but it seems that this is becomed mocked and people keep the spirit alive even though it is such a negative stereotype. It seems as though it is so bad its given the fishes a bad name. Perhaps we should ignore the species and it may die off on its own. It is only up to us to do this, and let the mullet end itself.
