James C. Petersen would cultivate the integration of the basic seen principals in human living while addressing various interpersonal communications in his literature Why Don’t We Listen Better? As he would elaborate on the many forms of communicating through talking and listening. Within his treatise the author would purpose several stages unto how effective communication should be seen. As I review Petersen’s text with first summarizing his through work I will also inquorate other literatures that brings a different look unto his approach in communication and also carriers on the same point of view as well.
I will also provide a steady application that articulates strategies for enhancing interpersonal communication. In preparation to find the missing pieces of Why Don’t We Listen Better? Summary Petersen’s book on Why Don’t We Listen Better accurately details comprehending various concepts that are often misused or overlooked when communicating in an everyday conversation amongst individuals. The author would break down several intricate parts within his literature to have the reader functionally digest his message.
Within the first part of his book Peterson laid out the groundwork as the section was labeled “Options in Communicating”. After providing the reader with his personal story of why communication became so important to him he introduce the reader to the theory described as the Flat-Brain Theory of emotions. As the author would explain how this theory relates unto how to communicate our concerns and how to listen to others. Petersen would explain that his concept was one of feelings being characterized as how our minds and emotions interact and how we could learn to relax and accept our self and others more easily (pg. 0).
He would describe the basic human element of the stomach and its functions that consist along with our emotions or feels. Peterson would explain that our stomach alerts us whenever we are uncomfortable, happy, excited and generally ever emotion that we feel (pg. 20). He then would explain another Flat-Brain emotion as the Flat-Brain Syndrome in having the reader look at the stomach again as an guide. As he would explain the process of this theory being whenever our systems go out of our desired order.
Peterson explain that common issue within this theory being that a stomach overload caused by stressors in life that causes burdens placed on ourselves due to hurt feelings not leaving much room for current stomach activities (pg. 30). As we experience the ardships of daily life the author explains that along with the stomach pain seen it causes our hearts to turn brick-like and our brains to go flat (pg. 31). The second section of text is described by Peterson as “Talker-Listener Process”.
In which the author explains The Talker-Listener Card (TLC) to encourage parties to engage in purposeful communication in terms of taken turns while speaking and listening. The card also outlines essential goals of each participant. The goal of the talker is to share feelings and thoughts, while the goal of the listener is to provide a safe, understanding, and clarifying environment (Peterson, 2007). The card also identifies barriers that should be disregarded while performing through this form of communicating.
Peterson would state that as a listener we should go without agreeing, disagreeing, defending and advising. As the often urge to help is talking not listening Peterson, pg. 136). The next concept that was gathered within this the was “The Advance Listening Techniques & Philosophy” portion. As Peterson would break down different forms of listening such as ritual listening being defined as not paying attention unto the active communicator and anxiously awaiting our chance to speak. Peterson also spoke on Perry Masons as a orm of disguise statements to embark a response of trouble.
Along with bold Perry Masons Peterson brought to mind of mild- Perry masons the form of communicating in an indirect manner to inform the listener a message of something they would like for the other to do and they have not compete as of yet. As the last two processes within his lecture formed the views of “using TLCC in Groups” and “Concluding Philosophy”. These sections were noticeably shorter as he would embark on techniques to use in family settings along with the TLC strategies and how philosophy is the value of empathy, genuineness and warmth hown regardless of therapeutic persons.
Response As thoroughly reviewing such a powerful literature as the one Peterson constructed I found a vast amount of similarities along with my own personality blend. Not only through similarities I found meaningful content that I can state I am truly eager to explore more along with as well. As the section on “Empathy” | feel directly described my overall well-being and who I feel I am as a person. As I work diligently for a non-profit organization in the intellectual disability population I am impacted daily with many different walks of life that do not exactly correlate along with my own.
I feel that I have been flourished with the “grace of God” to impact these individuals positively through sick and hardship times and have truly made a difference in many of my own cases. As one of my individual’s recently had several traumatic experiences back to back. Such as the result of losing his mother then his family home burning down and his grandfather being placed in a nursing home and later dying two weeks later. He is now living by himself and generally speaking I am the most family the young man has as his brother lives two hours away. Why I feel that I translate along with the characteristics of empathy.
As Peterson described within his text that a true empathetic person sees through into the pain and the person. The young man has cussed me out and has slammed doors in my face. However I realize that he has had a challenging some odd months and have developed a genuine concern for his overall wellbeing and has made it my mission for him to live a healthy and safe life. As I go to his home several times out of the week, call him at all times of the day just to make sure he has food in his home and has subsequently paid for him meals and apartment as well.
I do realize that I have faults as all humans do and I also gathered these in the section f “Perry Mason”. As I often see now as Peterson described a person that showcases this characteristic sometimes in the form of an indirect question to use this form of communication along with others in my personal life. As my personality trait of a “C/S” is seen to showcase me as a reserved and not much of a risk taker I often find myself reluctant to state a question directly to others and use the around about way formatted seen as a “Perry Mason” (Uniquely You).
Peterson used the example of a mild Perry mason as a person that uses a mask to state their preferred preference in which I do a lot of (pg. 150). As ometimes I will even state unto my wife when the last time you went to the nail shop? As it really is used for a twist effect to be associated with the fact I think she needs to have this service completed. As I’m not very open to discuss things with others and I hide behind subjected questions. I was able to learn from Peterson in this text that I should rephrase my statement with a clear request equaling an EHJ balanced communication blend (pg. 51).
Critique Peterson’s book covers many different factors regarding proper talking and listening practices that should be used in all forms of interpersonal communication settings. I found it to be very useful and insightful especially the incorruption of the TLC dynamics. As this process was the first I have ever heard of such and help me to not only understand but visualize more effective means of communicating in my daily life. As the author branched in describing how to properly communicate as being a talker is seen and the goals of sharing ones feeling and thoughts.
I thought back to my report gathered from the Uniquely You profile in which it stated that I needed to be more willing to speak what was on my mind and repent against my seen reserved and fall back approach when communicating (Uniquely You). I feel like this book also when addressing my personal limitations I enjoyed fully being equipped with the terminology of expressing communication as Peterson explained that the first level is seen as a generic discussion lacking any substance and does not fulfill relational requirements.
As the second level revolves around emotion and helps develop deeper sustain relationships. This also impacted me to look over my report and understand I need to develop such skills as well. John Stewart described communication in sex features which was meaning, choice, culture, identities, conversation, and nexting (Stewart, pg 17-18). The author’s iewpoint of entities surrounding communication ultimately explain differently but was seen to explain the same effect that it involves two people conversing.
As I would state that I enjoyed the section from Peterson’s literature on TLC I would have to state that I do not ultimately believe that it works for each and every situation as the author painted the picture to do such. As the process would be seen to work if given effort and a honest try I strongly disagree that each an ever individual is willing to do so. As when my mother becomes very upset about a certain factor she does not want to talk it out and sometimes takes ays or weeks before she is able to speak again. This would go against what the author instructed within his graphs and tables.
Although I feel if she was willing and cooperative unto doing the card she would see benefits its just that she would not be willing to do so. Application Learning and growing along with the text from Peterson I feel that I have many different elements within my life that I can now establish as I continue my journey in becoming a better interpersonal communicator. One of the first changes that I will orchestrate is living my foggy messages in the forms of “Perry Mason” in the past as I move forward along with my wife and family.
I didn’t truly realize that these subliminal mix messages are not received as attended an could be damaging to our overall satisfaction along with one another. As God stated in Ephesians 5:25 Love your wife as Christ loved the Church. I also realize the proper mechanics and techniques to accomplish this new goal is to speak direct messages to her and avoid hidden passages. I also gathered knowledge associated with the text about certain triggers associated with flat-brain circumstances and realize that this issue not only affects me but the people around me.
I will gauge my mother’s temperament and not force her to speak when she is angry as Peterson described the stomach pain of stress ultimately resulting in the shrinking of brain that causes lashing out characteristics Peterson, 2007). I realize as well that I must avoid my own set of triggers that although my personality does not customarily adjust well to others expressing their grief or burdens it correlates along with being a good listener that will ultimately relate me into becoming a better interpersonal communicator.
I also gather the knowledge through this book of the effective usage of the TLC that will help guide me visually with cues to perform during all communication situations. While I am at work I have now a printed copy of the TLC posted on my desk therefore when my clients come in I can use this as a guide to allow for me the better opportunity to serve them the best way possible.
I also will use this same strategy in my personal life as I will print it off and place it on my bedroom door therefore allowing me to communicate along with my wife at all times in the best way possible. I realize that I still have a very long road ahead and with God’s grace and mercy I will be able to achieve my set forth dream of obtaining the correct and accurate amount of interpersonal skills needed for myself day by day with practice and patience.
