I am still grieving over the loss of my son, Absalom. It has been days since his death and I still ache in my heart for him. My wives remind me of his plans to overthrow my throne, and his attack on Jerusalem. I do not need reminded of these plans, and they do not lessen my love for Absalom. I have only myself to blame for the tragedies that have plagued my family. My shameful dishonor of the Lord’s law brings my house these evils. My disobediance began the day that I saw Bathsheba bathing from my roof. My Lust for her and had relations with her even though I was aware she was married to Uriah, I should have known that my sins would carry on.
I feel shameful even now as I am putting my ink to paper admitting that my sins did not even stop there. When I realized Bathsheba was pregnant with my child, I attempted to first trick Uriah into staying with Bathsheba for a night, so that he would believe the child was fathered by him. When this plan of betrayal did not work, I arranged for Uriah’s death in battle. When Uriah was buried I took Bathsheba as my own wife. Why couldn’t I see that my sins could not be covered up and swept away? My first sin only multiplied and resulted in the murder of a warrior that faithfully served my kingdom while I committed adultery with his wife.
The Prophet Nathan finally showed me my sins, and even to this day I repent them. It was that day, while I wept in sorrow that The Lord spoke though Nathan and told me that my sins would bring evil to my house, and result in the death of my first son by Bathsheba. The Lord is merciful and great in forgiving me of my sins, but I regret that my sins have caused so much pain and suffering for the family that I love. I myself am responsible for my sins against Uriah as I am also responsible for the city of Nob being destroyed during the time of King Saul.
My lies to the priest, who offered me food, and the sword of Goliath in Nob left only the priests son surviving out of an entire town because of Saul’s wrath against me. Who was I to believe that I could escape sin because the Lord appointed me King of Israel? My Lord has been good to forgive my sins. The Lord has always been and will be for all time the Rock of my salvation He took me from the pasture when I was young, and made me commander of his people. He destroyed my enemies before me and promised that my family will endure forever. In my life, I made mistakes and have dealt with the consequences.