It seems that society has taught us all at a very young age that the way we are is never enough. Impossible standards are set and yet somehow, we are expected to rise to the occasion, often by those closest to us, who we just want to be unconditionally accepted by. Striving for transcendence is incited by the desire Society has created an idea of flawlessness that is shoved down everyone’s throat. In magazines and tv shows we are all painted this picture of individuals with benign faces, seeming to be so jubilant. Tall, skinny, smart, funny, who wouldn’t love them right?
They have he perfect things and the perfect hair, perfect faces. Who doesn’t want to exist in their world? These people that are supposedly faultlessness come across as so lovable, something we all pine for. Then here we all are. We glimpse in the mirror and our bodies just aren’t quite as skinny as theirs. We don’t have the latest clothes. You’re just you and you’re desolate analyzing yourself to the perception of perfection that society has originated, pondering, “what can I do to be like that? ” Humans feel the need to modify who they are in order to receive love.
When I witness models and celebrities that are abeled as “perfect” and “loved” It is very effortless to want to be like them. How could anybody be confident when societies standards are so immense? Everyone wants love and when we survey around at people that are supposedly so loved, we come to the conclusion that being ourselves is just not adequate enough. So, we change, to fit the image that societies deem as order to hopefully receive affection, we change ourselves, which may result in a love shallower than when a person falls or your natural flaws. Isn’t it better to have someone love you for who you are?
Love is much deeper and stronger when the other of receiving affection from loved ones. “loveable” with the anticipation that others will love us. person falls for you, rather than falling for your changes, that isn’t really you. When past secrets surface and reveal themselves, it can often be a deal breaker. Once someone falls in love with your flaws, are they really flaws anymore? However, because of the precedence that has been set by society, we are taught to not embrace our flaws, but be ashamed of them. It is an instinctive thing to want your loved ones to love you back in a deep way.
When someone is devoted to another deeply, you often put a lot into it. It’s like throwing your anchor in their sea while holding on to the end of the chain, but you don’t have a way to swim and you’re hoping they will throw you something so you don’t just drown in them, following the anchor. When they continue to not help you swim, you’re drowning deeper and deeper, but the love is shallower and shallower. Another thing I feel that happens too often is that, people you love will treat you like they love you back one day and then leave you to drown the next. You’re left looking at ourself wondering why you can’t swim and what you did wrong.
We always crave a deeper and deeper love, even if our loved one already do really love us, and we turn towards perfection to fill that void. Everyone has voids. None of us, not even the tv stars, are void free. We all having missing pieces we are looking to fill. Sometimes, no matter how much someone loves us, it just isn’t enough for us. Our voids are so deep and the other person’s may be even bigger that they have no more love to give. As humans, we automatically think that we have done something wrong. We want to have a deep love. Perfection is he answer right? If I could just change this about me I would be happy and find love.
We are taught that emotional love from loved ones is acquired through outward looks. The girls with the happy marriages are the pretty ones, right? At the end of the day, the goal is an emotional love, that is about more than just looks. Yet, we are taught that this kind of love is only started if you have a desirable appearance. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, yet it seems society has changed the vision. Is it really a person’s eyes looking or are they just looking for the things they see in the magazines? Emotional purity is something that society has set the rules for.
Not only do we as humans hope to obtain flawlessness through looks, we also strive to be emotionally perfect. Those of us who may struggle with disorders and such are looked down upon. If you are depressed or an addict, the list goes on and on, it may be hard to feel love, especially from the ones you love. People like this are often neglected for things they cannot change. The ones they love, sometimes are not able to look past certain aspects of them. , or their feeling fade or change when a person changes or develops something. Emotional change is natural and developing disorders is often inevitable.
On the other hand, emotional “perfection” can be what sustains an initial attraction. Often when you are immediately attracted to someone, you realize you are ready to start a real relationship when you become emotionally attracted to them as well. It is easy to love someone when they are emotionally stable and don’t have extra baggage that you need to help carry. Relationships that last rely heavily on mutual emotional attraction because looks can easily change. Emotional faultlessness also pertains to one’s personality traits. Some of us are naturally very pretty and a charming on the outside, but may have pretty dry personalities.
I personally knowa multitude of people that would fall under this category. In society, I feel that there is definitely an idea of personality traits that are more covetable as opposed to others. Being humorous for sure is one. It is so effortless to enjoy yourself around someone with a similar sense of humor, or any humor in general. Some of us, however have no sense of humor whatsoever and I’m sure they have noticed it and wish they could revise that about themselves. These things are pretty uch impossible to change compared to the simplicity of getting a nose job, aside from the cost of course.
Many parents, who are supposed to have unconditional love, put pressure on their children to be perfect in all aspects of life. Children of all ages are burdened with the idea that they need to have the best grades, be the mvp on their soccer team, and help around the house. Children are beat for getting a letter B on the annual report card, totally disregarding that they tried their absolute hardest. I am a soccer referee and listen to elementary school aged soccer players getting grilled by parents or simple mistakes.
Like, let’s see your forty something year old self get out here and give it a shot. They’re just twelve-year old’s having fun. It isn’t the world cup. We are not all magically the absolute best in every area of life, and falling short in an area of life is certainly not the end of world. motivate one to try harder to receive love, especially from those closest to them. When you look around and see close friends and family in relationships and acquiring love, this will often remind people of their loneliness and make them feel pressure that they need to be in a relationship to be happy.
For others, their father viciously screaming at them from the sideline is what pushes them to keep pushing, so that when the final whistle blows they may hear and “good job” and congratulations that may have never came if they had not persevered. In some ways, pressure definitely can be a good thing and make individuals tougher, but it should not be necessary to receive a well done pat on the back. factor of conforming to be accepted. If you are at a party with all your friends and they are doing drugs, for example, this pressure can make you do things you have always sworn not to do.
Peer pressure, although unable to be physically seen is such a powerful force. You want to look better in your friend’s eyes so bad, you become blind to everything else, like lifelong consequence. So many lives, have been ruined, just trying to feel loved, scared of not fitting in. As humans, we often go to extreme measures, if Pressure can definitely Peer pressure can be a major think there a chance of receiving love from the ones we cherish. Eating disorders, for example, are very common. A lack of love and comparing ourselves to others can really drive one to starve themselves or binge eat and throw up.
Other’s get major surgeries, such as lip injections, nose jobs, boob jobs, or fat removal surgeries; the list goes on and on. No matter what these individuals say, such as oh I did it for myself, I feel that the large majority of the time, this is not true. They are changing themselves for someone else, often those closest to them, the people that are supposed to love them unconditionally, but do not. Ordinarily, people are ridiculed for making extreme changes to receive affection, which often results in a bigger desire for love. They are labeled as “fake” by the same society that drove them to make the changes.
If omeone wants to gets a nose job and it temporarily makes them feel better, that is their choice. It is so crazy ridiculous to me because the same people that label them as fake are the one who made them feel so uncomfortable in their own skin that they chose to make a change. No matter what you do, you will still be ridiculed. Striving for perfection, I have often witnessed is done by acting out to receive attention and love. If children do not feel like they are in the spotlight enough they often act out to get their distant parents to “love” them. This is extremely common.
People of all ages, in fact, will often make hanges to be “better” to be noticed by the opposite sex. If someone develops a crush, someone they are fond of, they will begin to dress nicer and spend extra time in the morning to get gussied up with the hopes of impressing their special someone. For many being transcendent, doesn’t just include their present lives to those closest to them. We will frequently tell lies and try to rewrite our past to seem loveable. When we mess up and feel bad, we conceal it from our parents. The truth is, people have dirty pasts, but it is a piece of who you are.
This is another case of trying to change and be “perfect. In life, there is no eraser to start over. Life is written in pen and everyone makes mistakes. There is no use in trying to erase or cover it up. Nobody should expect you to have a perfectly clean slate. You learn from your mistakes and you should embrace them because they made you who you are today. We would have a much happier world if society promoted that being yourself was enough to deserve love. Self-worth is such an influential aspect of one’s life. It determines the kind of choices you make and how you allow people to treat you.
Imagine a world where there was no false “perfect. It does not exist and I don’t see why our world keeps trying to make an idea of what is or isn’t perfect. Nobody should have to compare what they look like orth possessions to another’s. The closest you can come to being perfect is loving your flaws and expecting everyone to accept you the way you are. If a person ever makes another feel that you aren’t good enough, people should have the self-love to ditch them. Promoting self-love instead of the impossible and unrealistic idea of perfection would help to prevent unhealthy relationships, such as abusive ones, whether physically or mentally.
Self-Love would create happier people that would not have to rely on others to make them feel worth. Self-love will open the doors to healthy relationships that will thrive. You have to love yourself before anyone can love you for who you are. The closest thing to a perfect love is when you love yourself, which is the biggest void for many. The realist, truest love does not rely on things you can see, but rather on what cannot be seen with the eyes. You cannot fall in love with looks, no matter how hard you try, or even if you think you are.
So, the closest you can come to being perfect, is just loving yourself. Others will notice and be drawn towards your light. Affection makes humans feel valuable. Doesn’t it feel good to get a compliment? I think we can all agree that when another individual notice something we are doing right, and goes out of their way to acknowledge it, this small act can mean a lot and plant a seed l our hearts. Because of this, it is almost human instinct to crave affection, especially from our loved ones. When someone that you deeply love, deeply loves you back, there is nothing quite the same.
Perfection is impossible and chasing after it may temporarily be a fix, but ultimately will leave us lonely. After you burn your bank account for that boob job that you promised yourself would ignite some flames in love aspects of your love, do you really feel any better about yourself? No, you don’t, you are still inevitably not perfect. You still have the same voids you had before. I mean really, to put it bluntly, nothing has changed. You didn’t have a surgery to make your butt bigger; you had surgery to make your voids smaller. Inward problems cannot be fixed by adjusting your outward appearance.
