“Roy is having a difficult time facing the situation. Despite all that he sees on the job, when it comes to family, he hates thinking the worst could happen. He needs to find a way to accept that this is what is right now and know that things may never be what they were again. He is trying so hard, but it’s difficult and he forgets at times what the situation is. I feel so… sad, I guess, for him. He has other friends, namely the Station 51 crew, but he and Johnny have had a much deeper bond than anyone else. Even if this situation doesn’t last, he will need to find someone else to lean on, to talk with and that will be hard for him.
Roy isn’t the type who is good at being free with his thoughts and emotions. Johnny has always been able to bring them out with his energy and love of life. “Chris, too, is going to have more difficulty with this situation than Jenny or I. This is just because he has relied on Johnny for guy stuff or guy talks that he’d rather not discuss with his dad. At least until he can find a way to develop a deep bond with one of Roy’s crewmates. Johnny has always made sure that we know about the stuff they talk about if it’s important, don’t get me wrong,” Joanne hastened to add. But I’m not sure anyone could fill that void easily.
Although Chris thinks he understands what is happening, until he sees for himself how much has changed, I doubt he will truly get it. The same goes for Jenny as I think knowing and really knowing is just too difficult for them to grasp,” Joanne took a deep breath. “As far as Jenny goes, she will have lost a playmate whom she loves to death. It will be a major change for her as well and although she doesn’t exactly talk to him about personal issues, she does rely on Johnny for other things.
Things like someone to help her shop for her Christmas gifts now that she is older and has spending money, help planning her birthday parties, simple, yet mportant things like that,” pausing, Joanne surreptitiously wiped at her eyes as tears formed. “It won’t matter how long it takes for Johnny to heal, a piece of Chris and Jenny will be taken away and I know that this will change them. It will be up to Roy and I to make sure that the change is a positive one, although I know Station 51 is going to be there to back us all up and help where they can. I for one am glad that the wives are willing to step in and help out when needed with Jenny.
I don’t know what I’d do without them. ” I don’t know how either one of my babies could get over losing their Uncle Johnny. The thought of them aving to grieve for them as if he was gone, even if it is for a short time is almost too painful for me to think about, Joanne thought. He has been such a huge part of our lives for so long that I can’t imagine how they would handle it. Sighing once again, Jo shook herself mentally in order to free herself from the grim thoughts, knowing that allowing herself to be sucked into them would only hurt herself and her family.
Continuing to answer the doctor’s questions, Jo told him, “Johnny’s been involved with our lives so much that it’s going to be a major adjustment for everyone. I worry that the kids are going to feel eglected as we attempt to get into a routine that involves a child-like Johnny. I worry that Roy will sacrifice being a Fire Captain for a Paramedic Captain so that he has a more routine job and ends up being miserable because he misses the excitement. I worry that he will choose being a Fire Captain to fulfill a childhood dream and never think about what he will lose by giving up the chance to be a Paramedic Captain.
I worry that his friends and our neighbors will end up finding things too difficult and stop helping deal with any issues that may come up for one reason or another. It isn’t a huge worry of mine though s the guys Roy works with, along with their families, have become a part of our family over the years. If anything, I’m mostly worried that our family won’t be able to handle the situation and Johnny will end up in some home that breaks his spirit and we let him down in some way.
I worry that our family won’t be able to heal his spirit,” Jo realized she was rambling and started fidgeting with her purse handle. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to go off like that. It’s just. ” stopping, Jo turned red. I can’t believe how stupid I am sounding! At this rate, he will think there is no way our family and our home is where Johnny elongs! Jo berated herself. “It’s okay,” Doctor Druthers softly assured her. “Trust me, I am actually glad to hear all this. In fact, it’s encouraging to know how much thought you have put into all of this. You are level-headed in my opinion. Not many are as introspective as you have been.
These are all issues we need to go over in order to make sure that Johnny is placed in the best environment for not only physical healing, but help him heal emotional as well. You just answered some questions I was going to ask before I could get them out. ” Laughing, Joanne felt a lot better and a bit less crazy. “So, this is fairly normal? she asked. “Yes, and I promise, I will try to answer what I can. Granted, not all of these things can be addressed as of yet, but we will work on it. ”
Nodding her head in the affirmative, Joanne listened as Karl began addressing her worries. As far as your husband goes, I would like to discuss your worries with him one-on-one, if you don’t mind. I won’t mention that you brought them up as I have my own reasons for not doing so, but you may let him know if you wish,” Doctor Druthers said. “That’s fine. ” “Good. Now, as far as your kids go,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “That will take some effort. I already had planned on alked with both Chris and Jenny today that they needed to accept that Johnny is a completely different person than who they know. There are other subjects I will approach with them, but as of right now, I am not going to bring them up here.
What will help out both of them is that they stick to as much of the same routine as possible. I can understand that with the situation as it is, you may need someone else needs to pick them up from school or after-school activities. However, as much as possible, I would like the two of you to make an effort to have dinner with them nightly. That way, if it is determined hat your home is the best place for Johnny, you will already have an established routine. Of course, if someone is gone due to work, an activity or at a friend’s house, just have whoever is home sit down together for dinner.
Try to have a chore schedule set up if you don’t already. I feel that it is vital that if Johnny goes home with you that he be included in as much of the family activities as possible. What he is able to do will depend on what his doctors says and how he is healing of course. The point is to make him feel a part of the family and again, by having a schedule set-up, it will help immensely. ” “Can I have this written down? ” Joanne asked, feeling intimidated by the amount of information. “Opps, sorry,” Karl sheepishly said. “Here is a notepad and pen. After handing that over and giving her time to write down the notes, he continued.
“Let Chris and Jenny keep any of the summer activities they were going to do. Again, make sure that you or your husband drop up or pick them up if you normally would have if possible. If it isn’t for some reason, I would explain it to your children as they are old enough to understand and then set-up something a bit special just for them. It will also help if you set aside time for just them. For example, it would be helpful if you just spend some time with Jenny and then just some time with Chris.
Family time will be one of the main keys to making this situation work. Another other key is to take care of yourself,” Dr. Druthers directed. “If you allow yourself to become worn out and you don’t have time to yourself every day, you will burn out. At that point, you will be no good and certainly no help to anyone. It is not selfish at all to take a half-hour or so for yourself. ” “Guess that makes sense,” Joanne mumbled to herself, her head bent over the notepad as she scribbled down notes. I know you said worry that Roy might choose the wrong advancement for the wrong reasons.
I would suggest that we leave that topic alone for now. will likely suggest a brief session with the two of you to in order figure things out like that. It would also be helpful to have such a session to develop a routine that would be helpful for your two children and one where Johnny could be included in if it is decided it would be better that for him to be with your family. I haven’t brought this up with Roy yet as with school in session, I am assuming that you have a fairly good routine down. You can et him know and I will let him know tomorrow about this part.
“That would be great. And you are right, until summer starts in a couple of weeks, things are pretty much under control,” Jo sighed in relief. “After that, it will become a bit of a balancing act to make sure the kids get to their activities on time. ” Looking down at his watch, Karl saw that a little over an hour had passed by. “Is there anything you would like to chat about yet? Or anything else you’re worried about? ” he inquired. “Honestly, at this moment, I think I just feel like my brain has been overloaded with information,” Joanne confessed. Alright.
Just give me a call if you or anyone in your family need anything. Otherwise, bring up Chris and Jenny after school. AsI mentioned it to Roy, I cleared it with the peds floor that they can have access to the playroom if they’d like to. ” Also standing up, Joanne thanked him. “You’ve been a big help so far. I can’t tell you how much it is appreciated. ” “Don’t worry about that, I’m more than glad to help,” he said, waving off her thanks. Thanking him again for his time, Joanne left Doctor Druthers office and went down to Johnny’s ICU cubicle, hoping that things were still going well.