[Start your essay with an attention-getting sentence. This is known as a “grabber. ” Write your sentence here:] Andrew Carnegie, at first look we believe him to be a hero and a good businessman. I believe this is what he is. At a second look we do see some of his faults but, he is only human. [Introductions introduce the reader to the topic. Your topic is Carnegie. Sum him up in a sentence or two here:] Andrew Carnegie is known as one of the most successful businessmen to exist. He created the Carnegie Steel Industry and was known to give away much of his wealth. For this we consider him a hero.
Assume your reader does not know the question you were asked. Including the question in the introduction as a statement is a good idea. Restate the question asked in the title in statement form here:] Is Andrew Carnegie a hero? I believe he is a hero. [You will be comparing Carnegie’s traits to heroic traits, so give 3 of the top traits or characteristics you feel are important attributes of a hero:] Some traits of a hero are hard working, determination, ambition, and generosity. [Now it’s time for your thesis statement, the point you will make or argue or defend.
Your thesis should be, “Andrew Carnegie (was/was not) a hero in hree key areas of his life; , ,and . Consider linking your key areas to your heroic traits and keep coming back to those traits throughout. Complete that sentence as you see fit and write your thesis statement below:] I do believe that Andrew Carnegie was a hero. Carnegie was an ambitious businessman, a generous philanthropist and an intelligent man. Body – 3 Paragraphs [The paragraphs of your body should be about the 3 areas you listed in your thesis statement above.
Each body paragraph will be all about how that area of Carnegie’s life was an illustration of how he was or was not heroic. Each paragraph will begin with hat is called a “baby thesis” – it is the thesis of just this paragraph. Use this template: The first area in which Andrew Carnegie (was/was not) a hero was sentence and write it here:] . Complete that Andrew Carnegie was a man of determination. He started working at the age of twelve ,when he moved to the United States, at a local textile mill (DBQ 2008).
He would then move onto more jobs slowly gaining more knowledge and eventually become successful in the steel business. He was ambitious when it came to the business industry. Then after his success in life he would generously give away portions of his fortune. When Andrew Carnegie was an ambitious man. He went after what he wanted. When he had first thought about the steel industry he was excited and passionate about it. Within twelve months of meeting bessemer a large steel mill was under construction(DBQ 2008). Generous is a word many people would use to describe Andrew Carnegie.
When he had gained a large amount of wealth he gave much of it away. Some of the foundations he gave to were the Universities of Scotland, Teachers’ Pension Fund, and Free Public Libraries (DBQ 2008). [Next you need evidence to prove your point. Use 2-3 examples rom the documents as evidence of how he was or was not heroic in this area. You should use your APA citation here. Remember to follow the (Author, Date) format even if there is no author (use the title) or no date (n. d. ). Write 3 or more sentences for this part.
When Carnegie was at a young age he moved to the United States and began working various jobs at a young age (DBQ 2008). This shows that he was hard working even at a young age. Once he had worked his various jobs he began to gain interest in the steel industry. He was ambitious when it came to the steel industry, he was passionate about it. After gaining a tremendous amount of money he would give away portions of his fortune to charities (DBQ 2008). [Now make your argument. To do this, connect the evidence of Carnegie’s behavior to the traits you described in the introduction.
Use this template: This evidence helps explain why Andrew Carnegie (was/was not) a hero because… (link the behavior to the trait). ] Andrew Carnegie was an intelligent man. When he was younger he went to school until he moved to the United States. When he moved he began working in a textile mill and eventually started working in the telegraph industry and then on he railroad industry. This shows that he was intelligent enough to move up in ranks and into better paying jobs. [Now do this for 2 more paragraphs, using the same basic format.
Prompts are provided below:] Baby thesis 2: (The second area… ) Andrew Carnegie was a good businessman. Evidence: He was able to move from different jobs, each time they would have a better pay than the last. He then he talked to Bessemer and built a successful steel company. The company also opened up jobs for several people. He continued to invest in steel and continued to grow his company. This made him incredibly ealthy. Argument: Andrew Carnegie was a good businessman because he opened a successful company and it opened up jobs for others.
Baby Thesis 3: (The third area… OR The final area… ) Andrew Carnegie was a generous philanthropist. Evidence: When he became wealthy he didn’t keep it all for himself. He gave away much of his wealth to other foundations. Much of it went to educational foundations. Argument: Andrew Carnegie was a generous person because instead of hoarding his wealth away he gave it away to charity. Conclusion: [It’s important to sum up your whole paper in the conclusion. It’s best not to start with the words, “In conclusion… Instead, sometimes it’s better to restate your thesis, but reverse the order of the list. Try that here:] Andrew Carnegie was a heroic kind of person in his own way.
He gave away his wealth. He created jobs out of his company. He also was just ambitious when it came to making a way for himself. [Do a brief summary of the behaviors Carnegie displayed and how those are or are not correlated to the heroic traits. Do this in no more than 2 sentences. ] Carnegie was a good businessman but not the best boss. He was known to often cut ages and be two faced with his employees. Sometimes you want to acknowledge the arguments against your point. You can do that with an “although” statement.
This is generally optional, but give it a try here:] People would say that Carnegie is not intelligent because he never finished school when he moved to the U. S. They would also say that he wasn’t a generous person because he would cut wages of his employees and didn’t give them the best working conditions. [Finally, relate this whole topic to today. If we can’t learn from history and apply its lessons to us, it is nothing more than nteresting stories.
Why should anyone care today if Carnegie was or wasn’t heroic? This can be pure opinion. This will be the last sentence of your essay, so make it something that resonates with your reader and shows her that you have thought about this. ] People today should think about this because the world today is based off of past events. We should look into industries because we may think a large corporation is good at face value but even the best of corporations have faults. We also need to remember that just because someone is successful does not make them completely evil.
