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The Problem Of Domestic Violence

A problem has become known and to many, they feel that it’s about time that the general public has taken notice. This problem has been a taboo for centuries and in the mid nineties it has chosen to let itself be known, the problem that I am talking about is domestic violence, it has ruined families, and demoralized the victims for years and now because of the “trial of the century” we finally are allowed to discuss it in detail, without fear of reprisal, now we get to familiarize ourselves with it and eventually after we get to know all about it we can, through treatment, get rid of it.

In this paper, I will discuss problems with the so called epidemic of domestic violence. This entire paper will be about domestic violence, and because of that I feel it is important to note that “in most families men and women do not engage in physically abusive behavior” (The Brown U. ), but because the media feels that it is their public duty to deceive us into believing that this problem is an “epidemic” (Domestic V. ) we feel that, that is the case.

Webster’s dictionary defines epidemic as “a rapid spreading of a disease; to many people at the same ime”, this is not the case with domestic violence, one it didn’t just happen overnight, it has just been popularized overnight, domestic violence has been going on from as far back as anyone can remember and probably farther than that, and two, this is not affecting many people at the same timem, because, as I’ve stated before, “in most families men and women do not engage in physically abusive behavior”.

If you as the reader gets anything out of this paper, it is important to me as the writer, that you find that, while domestic violence is a major problem for some families, it is by no means an epidemic. The major reason domestic violence has become so widespread over the last couple of years is because of the O. J. Simpson trial, as one person put it “the O. J. Simpson case would do for domestic violence what Anita Hill did for sexual harassment”.

The trial of the century brought a much needed attention to a issue that for too long was pushed to the back burner; domestic violence was a major issue in the case and it became evident, through the mass publicity of the case, that women weren’t crying wolf all these years, because of “the murder of Nicole Brown … he media would focus squarely on and engage in an unprecedented and lengthy dialogue about the issue of domestic violence” (Domestic V. , it seems to always take something tragic for us to listen, but from this particular tragedy allot of good has come out of it and we can take heart in the fact that Nicole Brown did not die in vain.

Why do men abuse in the first place? That question has allot more than one answer to it and among them are “he might be under stress, he was beaten as a child, he lost his job … ” (Domestic V. for B. , the possibilities are ndless, women or the abused has always look at these reasons as excuses for the abusers to justify their doings, but sometimes men, or the abusers, have a legitimate case in the reasons why they batter, some, not all, but some men cannot help it, like the alcoholic who cannot stop drinking or the compulsive gambler who can’t stop gambling, an abuser hits because something clicked inside of him when he was younger and now he can’t stop.

The reasons why someone might find it appeasing to hit someone else is, he might of been raised in an abusive household, maybe the abuser was abused, physically, or made to feel inferior by omeone else and now he is taking it out on the person who he feel he can beat, his significant other.

After all is said and done we must remember that the ultimate choice to become an abuser was made by the person himself, but like the alcoholic and the compulsive gambler with “intensive” treatment they can be helped to control their problem. It’s weird and even sad that with “over 4 million domestic assaults on women last year” (Domestic V. or B. ) it took the O. J. Simpson trial to finally illustrate the problem that some families have problems and a problem that aused “2000-4000 women killed each year” (Family V. ).

When we as the public started looking away from the trial itself and into abusive nature in people, what we saw shocked us, it shocked us into realizing that for years the abused has gone unheard, when we saw that “60% of women killed were killed by their husbands or boyfriends” (Domestic V. for B. ), it made both women and men feel ashamed that for all these years we didn’t listen to the cries of the abused.

In the past and today, when abused women wanted to seek help, the first people that they contacted were the police, but before 1994 the police epartments across the nation took these calls “as low priority calls” (Family V. ), one of the reason was that police officers thought that domestic violence was a family problem best dealt with within the framework of the family, but the major reason was, it seemed that in almost all of domestic abuse case the victims was the main protector of the abuser, “sometimes one or both spouses told police that they had already resolved their problems” (Family V. . Police officials and prosecutors had a hard time getting the perpetrators the proper punishment and treatment they deserved because, whether out of love or out of ear, women wouldn’t press charges or testify against their spouses.

Before O. J. and all the hysteria that followed during and after the trial, arguably the most dominant voice for women in the fight against domestic violence was and probably still is, Dr. Lenor Walker. Through years of work in her private psychotherapy practice she developed the theory of “battered women syndrome” (Domestic V. for B. in 1980, this theory gives us an understanding as to why a woman who is being systemically beaten by her husband or boyfriend does not leave the relationship right away or ever.

The theory that Dr. walker came p with has three stages, one “the tension building stage” (Domestic V. ), this stage consists of allot of minor verbal altercations and the next stage, “the acute battering incident” (Domestic V. ) stage is just an escalation of stage one, it becomes more physical and most often “the abusers cannot stop even if the woman is severally injured” (Domestic V. for B. ) and finally the “love contribution stage” (Domestic V. or the “honeymoon period” (Domestic V. ), this is the stage that inevitably causes the woman to stay in the relationship, in this stage the “abuser becomes at once charming, loving … illing to do anything to be forgiven” (Domestic V. ); some speculate that “sometimes women want to get to the honeymoon period so badly that they ‘provoke’ the violent episode” (Domestic V. for B. ).

It is mainly because of this stage, the “love contribution stage”, that police and prosecutors had such a hard time getting abusers locked up, the mistreated, more often than not, believed the abusers and eventually decide to give them another chance. The before mentioned cycle is one part of the “battered women syndrome”, the other part of Dr. Lenor Walker’s theory is that after years of this cycle nd “because of years of repressed rage, rage she swallowed so that they wouldn’t get beaten, they can suddenly snap and become violent themselves” (Domestic V. for B. ). This violent rage against men from women, which sometimes leads to the woman killing the man, has been going on for years, but it is only until Dr. Walker came up with the theory in 1980 that we have an understanding as to why.

We are well aware of the fact that women get abuse, but it might suprise us that “approximately 2 million husbands compared to 1. 8 million wives experienced at least one or more serious forms of spousal abuse” (Domestic V. ,I understand that the punishment that a man can inflict on a woman is much greater than what a woman can do to a man, but it is important for us to know that abuse isn’t as simple as, woman equals victim and man equals the evil abuser; numerous researchers found that “when physical abuse does occur men are as likely to be the victims as women”.

What most men find is that their in a lose, lose situation, if they take the abuse, and report it, they are considered “inferior” and if they fight back, because they are perceived as the aggressors, they are the ones who get arrested. The solution for men, sadly will not come anytime soon and if by chance it does, it will take a gender “swap” O. J Simpson case, were the dead will be the ex-husband and his female friend and the accused will be the former basketball player, current hall of famer / actress / basketball commentator abusive ex-wife.

They’re two major problem with the way we look at domestic violence, one, which I have previously mentioned, is that men are always perceived as being the abuser and two, the misrepresenting of facts that the media has sought to bring to the public’s eye, an example of this is that it is said that “4000 thousand omen are killed by their spouse every year” (Domestic V. ), but at the same time “in 1992 in a high risk group of women aged 18-34 there was a total of 702 fatalities” (Domestic V. , granted, one death due to domestic violence is one death too much, but to exaggerate the fact by that great of an amount does the cause of stopping domestic violence a great mis-justice.

Another widely used fact that no doubt is true, but the way that it is portrayed distorts the truth, is that “at least one fifth of all emergency room visits by women are the results of being beaten by men”(Domestic V. or B. ), again, the striking blow that the media pushes would be lost if they disclose the fact that this survey was done in an “inner city population of Detroit” (Domestic V. , there’s two problems with that, one because the survey was done in an inner city, it cannot be appropriately projected nationwide, just as if they were to do a survey in Anchorage, Ak and say that nationwide, only 1 in 200 women in the emergency room are there because of domestic violence; problem two is that the survey also “includes men hit by women” (Domestic V. ). Looking at the facts given out by he media becomes less shocking when the entire story is analyzed and realized.

Because domestic violence has become such a well known problem, it has become common knowledge that unless something is done, it will continue to be a problem for families to deal with. Killing the abuser obviously isn’t the answer, and arresting the abuser might just be a short term solution, the way to end domestic violence is to give treatment to those who need it, the problem is that “most abusers don’t believe that they have a problem … or that there isn’t any reason to change”

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