The book that I have read is Successful Negotiation by, Ginny Pearson Barnes, Ed. D.. I really don’t read many books but I enjoyed reading this one. Ginny has many great points about negotiation. Every aspect about communication is applied when discussing the negotiation process. Negotiation can be very complex when looking in depth about it. The definition of negotiation is the process of resolving a disagreement, giving and taking in a relationship. When we negotiate we must try to get a win win outcome. A win win outcome is when both parties are happy with the solved matter.
One must know that negative out comes are expected and no one is perfect. When one doesn’t get what they want, they should expect that sort of thing. At times you may give or take more than the other. Its part of negotiation. It’s the state of being satisfied. It may take cooperation and a good attitude though. Emotions can effect negotiation greatly. Emotions can control your behavior, which will sour the negotiation process. This is because we want to satisfy certain needs in our life. If certain needs are in jeopardy, we will crash the negotiation like pushing the hot button and losing it.
One has to do everything to make things positive. Understanding other people’s relationships is a big part of negotiation. You have to know how they lead and hold their life to get into a good negotiation. It’s like understanding where the other person’s feelings and thoughts are coming from. There are three different relationships, which are dependence, independence and interdependence. One very positive form of negotiation is empowerment. When you empower the other person you think in the other person’s perspective and know what right buttons to push.
It’s like saying that giving power is better than taking it away form the other because it will just make the other person throw up their guards. Body language is also another form of negotiation that can help it or hurt it. Non-verbal communication is very powerful since it’s 93% of communication (I thought I learned something in class). Certain words will totally make negotiation bad for you. Using: you, but, can’t, always or never, should have or ought to have will make the negotiation process hard for you. A negotiator has to be knowledgeable.
You have to know things about you and the other person. Know what you want out of the negotiation even if it is positive or negative. Knowing the other person means that you should know their perception and their personality. It’s sort of like mind reading. You have to know a little of what you’re up against. Also, “self-talk” works well too. This prepares you in that you have a mental picture of what you are going to do. . After doing all this, you may get into a negotiation and get a “yes”. This is very good and positive.
This means that the other person is agreeing and has something in common with you. When other people say “no” you shouldn’t take it personally. Just keep in mind that you probably weren’t the reason for the “no”. Another thing is try not to think the other person is out to get you. This is when things in the negotiation process can get ugly. To counter attack this “no” problem is to have a back-up plan. Get the other person to re-think what they just said and their decision.
There are certain words one may use to smooth things out such as “I respect… r “I appreciate… ” or ” I agree.. ” Once the negotiation process is finally over you step into a stage of satisfaction. There are four stages of satisfaction: Immediate reward, which is what you want then and there. Another is the delayed outcome, which means you keep working on it till you get it. The different stage is getting something else instead of what’s intended. Finally, the rejected reward which is getting nothing out of the whole deal. I really enjoyed and appreciated this book. It was loaded with a bunch of facts and scenarios.
I can honestly say I learned a lot and will apply it to my everyday life. I hope to be a good negotiator now (I better be). I have to know that being positive is the very best strategy in negotiating. Winning and losing the negotiating processes is life. I have to just accept the outcome and even adjust if I feel that a negotiation went sour. I have to remember that even small negotiations are just as significant and fit into a larger picture. Even though I can’t expect all negotiations to run smooth. I will set goals and make an effort for a win win outcome.