I have a buddy named Chin who has family issues. He is pessimistic and has low self-esteem as a result of his family problems. As a friend, I should be considerate to him by being a good listener and offering him advice, but he gets clingy. Once, Chin asked me to meet him right away at a nearby restaurant.
When I got there, he was drunk. He started to talk about his problems and how nobody understands him. I tried my best to be patient, but after a while I got frustrated because he wouldn’t listen to me. I told him that he needed to sort out his own problems and that I couldn’t be there for him all the time. This caused a big fight between us and we stopped talking to each other for weeks.
I realized that I needed to take a step back from the friendship, because I was getting too emotionally involved. It was hard, but eventually we started talking again and things went back to normal. However, I learned that it is important to set boundaries in friendships, so that both parties can stay healthy and happy.
I rushed to his house because I was concerned he might be suicidal. I should not have done it, but I felt irritated since he is depressed for the same old reason. He seemed to seek attention by making a big deal out of nothing, so few months ago we went on vacation to Bangkok with only a few close friends.
When we were about to return, he insisted on buying souvenirs for his friends and spent all his money. He had to borrow some from us and inspite of returning the money back, he still owed us some. When we came back, he started to act busy and did not meet up with us often. We gave him the space and time thinking that maybe he needed it. However, lately he was getting more distant and we hardly heard from him.
When I reached his place, he did not open the door immediately. I knocked a few times before he opened it slightly and peeped out. I asked him what was wrong and if he was okay. He nodded his head but did not say anything. I told him I was worried and he should tell me what was wrong. He finally opened the door and let me in. I sat down next to him while he stared at the floor silently. I asked him again what was wrong but he still did not reply.
After a long silence, he finally started to talk. He said he felt lost and did not know what he was doing with his life. He felt like he had no purpose in life and was just drifting through it aimlessly. He said he was tired of feeling this way and wanted to end his life.
I listened to him patiently and tried to comfort him. I told him that everyone feels lost sometimes and that it is normal to feel this way. I assured him that things would get better and he just had to hang in there. I told him I was there for him and would help him through this tough time.
After talking to him, I felt more relieved. He seemed to be in a better state of mind and promised to talk to me if he ever felt this way again. I was glad that I could be there for him and help him through his tough time. Friendship is important and we should always be there for our friends when they need us.
What I learned from the experience was that, communication is key in any relationship whether it is between friends, family or colleagues. Miscommunication can lead to misunderstanding and conflict. In this case, it led to the deterioration of my friendship with Chin. If I had communicated my thoughts and feelings to Chin directly, instead of venting to another friend, perhaps our friendship could have been saved.
Through this experience, I also learnt the importance of trust in any relationship. By breaking Chin’s trust, I not only hurt him but also destroyed our friendship. I am now more mindful of the things I say and do, and how they might affect my relationships with others.
He’s been cheated, I’m sure of it. He told me that he feels deceived since I was the one he could depend on. I apologized for my mistake and explained that I knew what I was doing was wrong, but that his gloomy attitude when the rest of us just wanted to have fun made it impossible for us to watch him squander his talents in self-pity. He said he understood but things would never be the same between us. Friendship is built on trust and once that trust is broken, it is hard to rebuild.
I was really upset after that conversation. I thought about it a lot and realized that I had taken him for granted. I also started to see how my actions might have hurt him. I decided to write this reflection paper as a way of exploring my own conflict in order to try to better understand what happened and why things went wrong between us.
First, I want to talk about our friendship and how it developed over time. We met in high school and hit it off right away. We were both outgoing and loved to have fun. We were always joking around and making each other laugh. We had a lot in common and it was easy to talk to him. I always felt like he was a good friend who I could trust.
However, over time, I started to notice that Chin was different from me in some ways. He was more sensitive and prone to getting upset about things. He would get into these dark moods where he would withdraw from everyone and become really depressed. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just be happy like the rest of us.
