My life has been a difficult one. I would never sugar coat it. Throughout life, I have faced many hardships. But these hardships have shaped me into the person I am today. I do not regret anything that has happened. With each new experience and phase in my life, it has taught me a lesson. A lesson that has given me the knowledge that I know now and want to share with my work with Social Work. I am a single African American female. Living in Greensboro, North Carolina while I attend North Carolina A&T State University. I grew up with predominately my grandmother.
She was my sole guardian. She raised me as her own and I owe her verything. She was teaching me everything I knew without me even knowing it. My family also had a big impact on my life after my mother died. They all helped my grandmother in raising me. I never went without or missed any experience because they ensure that I was living as much as a normal life as possible. My church has a very big place in my life because of all they have done. The saying it takes a village to raise a child is so true. An entire village has helped raised me into the female I am today.
Psychologically, I have been recently diagnosed with Major Depression and Panic Disorder. Dealing with all this has been ery difficult, especially because I have been living in secret since I had been diagnosed and put on medications for it. All of these situations have affected me in a good and bad way. All of these made me realize that I want to become a Social Worker. That is because while my grandmother was in hospice, I saw how the social worker cared and wanted to ensure that she was comfortable in her last days. I knew that was something that I wanted to do to someone else. That is how I wanted to return the favor of kindness.
The second reason I become a social work major was because now that I am dealing with epression and a panic disorder, I want to help ensure other young African Americans do not have to feel the same emotional pain that I am going through. In the African American culture, it is taboo to have a mental illness and seek therapy and medical treatment. It was hard for me to attempt something was wrong as well as go to find help. But this way with a degree in social work, I want to make sure that young African Americans have a person that they can talk to and not feel like they have to keep it under wraps.
There are not enough African American counselors and therapists out there. I want to be one f the few to help others. And not just African Americans, but anybody dealing with the constant emotional pain of depression. It has negatively affected me because now I am dealing with Major Depression and a Panic Disorder. I never wanted to attempt it. I kept everything hidden and under wraps in fear of becoming labeled with a mental illness. I never thought depression was that serious untilI personally went through it. It is a constant battle. A battle that goes on in your head that nobody understands.
And when no one understands that when you begin to feel as though something is wrong with you, and anic sets in. This has been my daily life since my second semester at college. Now that I am open to therapy and medication, I am beginning the recovery process. It is not easy, but I am trying to overcome all obstacles that are in my way. Kohlberg’s Moral Development theory is one of the main theories that I can identify with. That is because my morals and my values are very important to me. I believe that growing up I was going through the Preconventional Level.
I was always the shy and quiet girl who was looking for the right moral decisions, but were based on the adults that surrounded me. I was always ooking for what adults in my life saw as right and wrong. I was doing things that they thought was right because I did not know any better. The positive reaction was what I was looking for was them to reward me, instead of a negative punishment. When I was little I was always scared of being punished. Especially after my mother died, I wanted to be good in everyone’s eyes. The Conventional Level, level two, is when someone is looking to please other people.
I went through all of this. During my childhood, I wanted to be good and be live up to their really high. I was the child that had to expectations, which w et all A’s and never get in trouble. I had to live up to not only their expectations, but the expectations that my mother had for me. That put a lot of pressure on me. But it helped me in the long run. I knew that my good behaviors and grades would please my family and I would receive more positive rewards. I became used it and just never stopped trying to please others. Lastly, the Postconventional level, is where I am currently in my life. I am now trying to find my own.
And not just the ones that my family has instilled in me. What they taught me is still very important to me, but I am looking at other things ifferently now. I am no longer looking for their approval of what they think I should and should not be doing. It took me a long time to get to this stage, but during my current ordeal, it has become important that I find my own way of thinking. Morals that I have gained throughout the years like treat others the way that others should be treated has followed me throughout my entire life. That is me thinking beyond myself and thinking of how others feel. I also try to put myself in other’s shoes.
I can never really know exactly how they feel when they are going through something, but I try. Attributes like this is very mportant to me and good things to have as a social worker. The behavior that I now have to display is one of ethics. Ethics is a big part of who I am. There is just certain things that I am not willing to do. My decisions are now based on more than just myself and for the present. But rather how it will affect other people and the future consequences of my decisions. Another theory l greatly connect with is Fowler’s Theory of Faith Development. My faith and religion is very significant to me.
Every time I am home, I am very active in my church. Whether it be for activities and events to interacting with the outh. Having a spiritual side has helped me get through some very difficult times in my life. In Fowler’s theory, I can remember going through stage four. During stage four, that is when someone starts to take information and interpret it for themselves. I remember when I began to discover religion. And stop seeing church as a chore. I was taking what the Pastor said and was interpreting it for my own self and applying it to my own life. Not just taking the word of other people and my grandmother.
In stage five, I was becoming even more active in church, because I understanding the Bible more and taking it all n. I am still in this stage of taking my religious and spiritual side and using it in all aspects of my life. Values that I will carry with me is compassion, drive, education, family, growth, and generosity, just to name a few. These are some of the values that I will carry throughout my entire life because they have been taught in many life lessons. Lessons that family, church members, and other significant people in my life have taught me. With each lesson, I had to endure something before the lesson was taught.
Education is one of my main value because my mother always made sure I was doing ell in school. Her main thing was to be more than what I am. That is still instilled in me till this day. Compassion is another big one for me, because others should be so much compassion growing up through everything I was going through. My family of choice and my family of origin is very different. The people I chose are the most supportive and loving people. Something very opposite from my family. My family of origin does not show emotions. You know that they care, but they won’t verbally express that. And that is how I was for most of my life until recently.
Not showing any emotions and hiding from y feelings was not working anymore. My family will always love me, but because they do not show it sometimes, it is hard to believe it. My church family is another system that has become very influential in my life. They show so much love and support in whatever I do. It is just something that I really need in my life that I do not always get from my family. James Island United Congregational Church has been my foundation throughout life. My church is not just a place of worship, but a place where I can go to find peace. It took me a while to get there, but my church family has done a lot for me.
I annot even in words describe all they have done for me. And what church means to me. Another group has been my Praise dance team. They helped me get out of my shyness. It made me become more confident in myself. I was not comfortable dancing in front of people or being in front of people in general. My dance teacher pushed me in a way that I needed. Bonita, raised my confidence level. She took me under her wings, and the other adults that helped with the praise dance team. They encourage me to be more outgoing and raised my self-esteem level. I am forever grateful for them. Now I am currently the ssistant dance instructor and I love it.
This team has made me get even more involved with church. And actually enjoy being involved with the other youth in my church. National problems that have affected me would be problems with Medicare and Medicaid. At the age I am now the only way I could qualify for Medicaid is if I have a child and have a disability. This should not be the qualifications. I am a young student still trying to get my degree to make money. So with Republicans trying to make it even harder for the lower class to get insurance and the qualifications are so strict, I am a student with no insurance.
