This interview was done on a very special woman named Ms. D. G. In order to get a better understanding on the aging process. My goal was to get an in-depth look at what she has gone through in her life, physiologically and psychologically, and to learn, recognize, and identify with her in some way. People judge our elders everyday, but we fail to remember that not long ago they were our age. this was a great way for myself and others to get an insight on this terse life we have to live. Ms. D. G was born in 1939, making her 78 years old.
She recently moved into a nursing home in Kingman, Arizona due to loss of her home, caregiver, and physiologic aspects. Besides the staff coming in and out at times, Ms. D. G and I were the only two people in the room for this interview. The walls were considerably bare, only having one or two small pictures hanging of her children. She seemed quite upset she was there and not at home “where she belonged”, she said. You can usually tell by looking at a person whether they took care of their body or if they did not.
Ms. D. G is barely five feet tall, 120 pounds, and seems very frail. She was wearing a long pink and white nightgown with gold slip on shoes that glimmered in the light as she swung her feet back and forth. We never left the room, but I noticed her walker near the bed that she uses to get up and walk around. Ms. D. G had a very unfortunate and damaging accident that caused her back to break in several areas. Fear of becoming paralyzed and being even more incapable of doing things on her own, she opted to not go through with surgery.
D. G was born in Kingman, she moved several times but always ended up back where she started. She had 4 children, 3 boys and 1 girl. She lost her oldest son when he was in his 20’s and recently lost her daughter, who was just turning 40. Being married and divorced 4 times, she has no significant other and her remaining 2 boys live a ways away so visits are rare for her. I chose Ms. D. G because I have known her for many years and she holds a very special place in my heart. I met Ms. D. G through my husband ten years ago. He and her family have been friends since he was young.
We helped her and her daughter out with a great deal of tasks that they were unable to accomplish due to both their medical status. I furthermore chose to interview Ms. D. G for the reason that she has and is currently going through many challenges and obstacles life lays in front of us. I feel with age comes gain then loss. Ms. D. G has had great gain and loss throughout her life. She has a remarkable demeanor despite being alone most of the time, or is she? When I spoke to her about her late mother and kids she spoke as if they were there with her all the time.
She would conversate with them and myself at the same time as if I could see them too. Having a broken back for so long Ms. D. G wa put on a copious amount of medications to help with the pain. This affected her health so much to the point where she became dependant on them and in time her memory and subconsciousness declined. Her mother was a teacher and her father was a cattle rancher. Neither of them had complications of any sort that she can think of and both died of natural causes at very old ages.
She has two brothers and one sister of whom are alive and well. She speaks to her sister from time to time and says she has bad knees due to running triathlons but other than that she is in great health. Ms. D. G shows early signs of dementia and sometimes fails to remember what she has does. When her daughter passed there was no one there to look after her and make sure she took medications correctly. This and complications from her broken back led her into moving into the nursing home. Ms. D. G has experienced many transitions over the course of her life.
As I said earlier on, she was married and divorced 4 times. This situational transition has made her have some obvious trust issues with men. I say this due to the fact that she prefers female nurses and speaks very unfavorably of the male nurses and the male patients in the home. She spent most of her life working in retail, but she did mention owning a wedding boutique in downtown kingman for years and worked as a seamstress. This was a positive situational experience for her in the financial aspect specifically.
Due to a very bad divorce and new obligations, she was unable to keep the boutique open. In order to make ends meet, she acquired jobs here and there to keep up with bills and to take care of her children. The death of her oldest son was a very tragic situational experience, as was her daughter. Her son was killed in a car accident and her daughter, who was the youngest, had severe diabetes and due to complications passed in her sleep. Ms. D. G has been dealing with health-illness transitions for many years now.
Her broken back has prevented her from doing things she onced loved like square-dancing or riding horses. The medications prescribed to her made her lightheaded and groggy making it hard for her to get out and connect with family and friends. She has had healthy and unhealthy developmental transitions over the years. The birth of her children and parenthood were her happiest developmental transitions and she said “having my children was my greatest achievement”. Ms. D. G’s unhealthy transitions are present and she at times is aware of this.
She is sad and confused when she realizes she has forgotten something saying “I don’t know why my brain isn’t working”. Despite her good demeanor, Ms. D. G does not socialize well in the home. She rarely takes part in any of the activities that the home puts on and eats all her meals alone in her room. Organizational transitions like socializing and being connected are not really something she wants to be a part of. There have been many highs and lows in Ms. D. G’s life, and these are the transitions she was dealt in life.
We all go through psychosocial stages in our life, as did Ms. D. G. Getting divorced 4 different times she had to deal with a lot of emotional stress and she became lonely and depressed. This stage she was experiencing was Erikson’s stage of “intimacy vs. Isolation”. Currently in her life she is dealing with the last stage of Erikson’s development (Ego integrity vs. Despair). She reminisces and thinks back on experiences in her life often and smiles. I have the feeling she feels fulfilled and satisfied with her life, she even said “I still have no regrets”.
Ms. D. G is not afraid of death, she says “Grandma and M. (her daughter) have gone and they are still here with me”. She almost seems excited to go so she can be with them all the time, she hates when they go and she can’t find them. It is hard to determine what psychosocial stages she is in at times because she goes back and forth in time in her mind, some things that may have happened twenty years ago she may think just happened. Problems Ms. D. G will possibly face in her future will most likely be issues and advancement in her dementia.
I’m afraid her memory loss will continue and soon she won’t be able to realize that she has this issue at all. Her broken back has given her chronic pain and seems to increase with time. At her age surgery is not the best idea so keeping her pain under control will be the main concern for her nurses. Unfortunately there is no cure for dementia but there are medications to help treat this condition. Also, if Ms. D. G continues to isolate herself in her room and not ambulate she may become a risk for pressure ulcers and further skin disorders or irritations.
Movement is so important, and though she may struggle more than others due to her broken back, she still needs to be mobile if she wants to live longer. This interview has opened my eyes to the aging process. Ms. D. G is an incredible person who has faced some experiences in life that people should never have to go through. The death of not only one child but two and living with a broken back is enough to put someone over the edge, but she pushed on. Her mental status may have declined a bit , but she continues to smile and live a happy life.
I know now after conducting this interview how important it is to take care of my body in order to be healthy in my nursing career mentally and physically. Also talking with her made me realize how much I love my family and that tomorrow is not guaranteed, so make sure to let them know as much as possible. Elders are people too, they have feelings and deserve respect. In my nursing career I will always remember Ms. D. G and reflect on this interview with her. I respect her and have compassion for her, as will I with every aged person I meet in the future.
