There is no unmarked woman. That’s the thesis of Deborah Tannen’s book by the same name. And it’s a powerful one.
Tannen argues that every woman is marked by her gender from the moment she is born. Whether it’s in the form of childbearing or simply being seen as “the weaker sex,” women are always marked in some way.
This can be both a good and a bad thing. On the one hand, it can lead to discrimination and even violence against women. On the other hand, it can also give women a unique perspective on the world that can be used to empower them.
Either way, there is no escaping the fact that women are always going to be marked by their gender. It’s something that we just have to live with.
In Deborah Tannen’s “There Is No Unmarked Woman,” she discusses how every woman is “marked” in some manner. She explains how everyone classifies or “marks” a female based on her apparel, whether they are tight or drape limply from her body. It’s all about the make-up and hairdo. She claims that just putting down her ideas and noting the fact that ladies are marked makes her a target for marking. Getting married and taking your husband’s name are examples of being marked.
Even having children changes how you are marked, once a woman has a child she is now a mother and that will be her identifier.
Whether we like it or not, we are all judged by our appearance. And while some may argue that it’s shallow to do so, the fact remains that first impressions matter. This is especially true for women, who are often seen as objects first and people second.
In her essay “There Is No Unmarked Woman,” Deborah Tannen explores the various ways in which women are “marked” by society. From the clothes we wear to the way we style our hair, every choice we make is open to interpretation and judgement. And while some of these choices may be innocuous, others can have a profound impact on the way we are seen and treated by the world.
For example, Tannen points out that getting married and changing one’s name is a highly visible way of marking oneself as a woman. This simple act can change the way strangers interact with you, and can even affect the way you see yourself. Similarly, having children is another major life event that alters the way society views and treats women.
While we may not be able to completely escape being judged by our appearance, Tannen’s essay reminds us that we should be aware of the ways in which we are marked by society. And instead of allowing these markings to control us, we should learn to use them to our advantage. After all, there is no such thing as an unmarked woman. We are all unique and complex individuals, each with our own stories to tell.
So the next time you catch yourself judging a woman based on her appearance, take a moment to consider what her markings might be telling you about her. You might just be surprised by what you learn.
You’re marked if you want to wear heels rather than flats or tennis shoes instead of flip flops. The world we live in brands us the day we choose to stand out from the crowd, and for a girl, that happens at a very young age. I’m here to tell you that whatever she says isn’t always correct. We can be unmarred if we so desire. I agree with Tannen that everything she says is true about how women are judged on every little thing they do, but I’m not going to sit back and pretend like it’s fine with me.
Society has a way of making sure that every woman is marked. We are judged by our clothes, our hair, our makeup, and even our shoes. If we don’t conform to the standards that have been set, then we are considered to be different, and that is not always a good thing. We are also judged by our weight, our career choices, and even our relationship status.
The sad thing is, even though we are all marked women, we still try to fit into the mold that society has created for us. We diet so that we can be thin enough to wear the latest fashion trends. We spend hours in front of the mirror trying to perfect our makeup so that we will look like the airbrushed models in the magazines. We buy the latest trends and spend a fortune on clothes, shoes, and handbags so that we will be considered stylish. And all of this is done in an attempt to fit into a mold that doesn’t even exist.
So what can we do to break free from the marking? Deborah Tannen says that we need to start by accepting ourselves for who we are. We need to learn to love our bodies, no matter what size or shape they are. We need to be proud of our accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. And most importantly, we need to stop comparing ourselves to others.
When we accept ourselves for who we are, we become unmarked women. We are no longer defined by our clothes, our weight, or our relationship status. We are individuals with our own unique talents and abilities. We are women who are comfortable in our own skin. And we are women who are proud of who we are.
At first, I was so upset by this essay that I didn’t want to go any further. There are certain portions of this essay in which I agree with, such as the fact that when a woman looks at another woman, the first thing we do is judge them on their appearance. Then there are things about which I strongly disagree with this essay: “Although no man wore make-up, you couldn’t say the men didn’t wear make-up in the sense that you would say a women didn’t wear make-up.” (pg. 107).
I have never heard anyone say that a man was wearing make-up in my entire life. This may just be a choice of words but it seems to me like she’s trying to say that even though men don’t wear make-up, they still do things to make themselves look good for other people and I don’t agree with that. There are plenty of men who couldn’t care less about how they look and there are women who do care about how they look but don’t wear make-up.
Tannen tries to say that because women spend so much time caring about their looks, they can never be truly unmarked. “The fact is, there is no unmarked woman. We are all marked by our gender from the time we are born.” (pg. 108). I agree with this to a certain extent, but I think that it is possible for a woman to be unmarked if she chooses not to care about her looks or what other people think of her. There are women out there who don’t wear make-up, don’t do their hair, and don’t care what they look like. These women are usually judged more harshly than the women who do care about their looks because they are deemed “unfeminine” or “not attractive enough”.
In conclusion, I found this essay to be frustrating and I didn’t agree with everything that Tannen said. However, I do think that she made some valid points about the way women are judged and how we are always marked by our gender.
