I have the freedom to follow my own ideals, to make my own choices, to express my own morals, and to determine how I want to pursue my happiness. The kind of life I want depends on the kind of person I am – on my character and culture. I ask myself time and again, “how am I going to live a happy life in society today?” This question can be answered differently every day, depending on the events and actions that I take as an adult. An unforgettable experience taught me that making it in society does not always mean being the best.
When I want something in life, I know that it usually does not come easy. Hard work and dedication is involved. For the past eleven years of my life, I have been a full time dancer. I started tying those jazz shoes onto my feet at age six, never thinking that one day they would come off. I still will slip them on once in a while, when I get an urge to prance around in front of the mirror, or attend a small dance audition.
After my third year of dancing at my studio, I was definitely craving the competition aspect of dance. If any dancer has strong talent and extremely good technique then they were certain to be a part of the chorus groups. With my first year auditioning, I easily gained a position into the group. From that day on, being successful became natural. Years passed and I had moved up in the dance world. I then made the senior chorus, as the youngest member ever, at the age of thirteen. I won over two thousand dollars in scholarship money towards my dance classes over the next four years.
Dancing with older girls in the senior chorus, influenced me to work harder and strive for new heights. The following fall, I pursued my new goals. I wanted to be a part of the Annette & Company Dancers, which was the most elite performance group. Being a part of this group was the highest, most privileged level that any dancer at the studio could reach. All of the members were either assistant teachers or teachers, which made me pretty intimidated, yet honored at the same time. I was a good dancer in my eyes and my building successes were proof of that.
As I then entered high school, I was rewarded in numerous ways. I was promoted to an assistant teacher at my studio, joined the Annette & Company Dancers, and was granted captain of the junior varsity and varsity cheerleading teams. The cheer tryout had to be one of the more easier tryouts, unlike the tryout for the musicals. I could not sing-yet I could dance. There was no doubt about that. My conscious told me that I could make it, just how much did I want to test my skills, abilities, and my luck. Just like every other endeavor in life, I have gave it a try. Seeing my name the next day on the cast list was surprising-I made it. I had thoroughly enjoyed the theater that year, so I gave it another shot the following winter. I made the cast for my second consecutive year. I was now a dancer, cheerleader and an actress, as happy as I could have ever been. At this point in my life, I did not see failure as a possibility. I just knew that things were better than they had ever been.
By my junior year in high school, I had performed with the best dance group, with the schools musical cast, and with the high school cheerleading teams. Times were great. So far, I have always done what I have wanted; I guess I have been lucky.
Although, this past September, my luck died down. Little did I know that fate would turn its corner.
The Michigan State Orchesis Dance Company was hosting tryouts for their yearly performance at the Wharton Center. When my eyes caught glimpse of the flyer, I knew I had to tryout. Stepping out with my jazz shoes again, was just what I needed to feel like I was at home. I never considered the fact that other strong dancers would attend. There were thousands of girls going to school here, and only several spots were open. This did not stop me; my determination stayed strong. I have been dancing for eleven years; how could I not make it? These words wandered through my head non-stop for the next several days.
The audition was not a breeze, yet it was not as difficult as the musicals tryouts. I left the audition without the satisfaction that I had gotten from previous ones. My expectations were low, and my spirit seemed lifeless. Since I was a freshman, my chances were slim. Being a part of this dance company was not going to make or break me. I wanted it for the enjoyment of dancing again. There is a feeling that dancing brings me, that nothing else can. Though, I was now a full time student, and dancing was not first on the list. Callbacks were listed the following morning, yet I did not check it out till six oclock that night. My last name started with an “S”, and as my eyes scanned the solitaire piece of paper, “Turrkel followed Rhohit”. Surprised, shocked, and stunned, I did not know what to do or say. I stood there overwhelmed, as I checked the list once more for a second look. The results were the same. This was my first look at failure, defeat, and the shocking truth. Being the best of everything was not how I was going to live my life. I could not live my life like that; it is not possible. Failure was now a possibility for me.
That night was long and quite depressing. I realized several things including that I was not going to be in all aspects of life. I am not going to win every little scholarship, or make every part in the play. My experiences are going to be different now with all the competition at college. I am not the best dancer in town, or the smartest student in class. I am just a girl, like everybody else, trying to win over the same part. I thought that having every certain part in life was the way to be, and the way to make it in life. After this incident, my beliefs have changed, understanding now that I am not always going to be the best, whether it be luck or not.
I have realized that I can not rely on luck to determine my accomplishments or failures. If I want to become someone successful and happy, I need to take chances, keeping in mind that I may not be the best. I always tell myself to try my best – not to be the best. If I did, I would just set myself up for failure. From this unforgettable experience, I have made conclusions that I should keep in mind during the next four years of my life.
I have four years at Michigan State to determine what I want to do with my life, and how I want to make myself happy. I sometimes as myself ,”Why am I here at Michigan State?” Only one answer came out that I can definitely be sure of. College is my chance to enhance my knowledge and discover things about myself that I had never known. my own. I came to college to be educated and to be a student, not a dancer. I know that dancing can not be a part of my life right now. I must move past that aspect and look further for a major, career, and a pursuit of happiness. There has to be something out there which can make me just as happy as dancing does.
With this experience in mind, I hope to look into my future with an open mind about my success. I can still be successful and make it in society without having been number one at everything. Making it does not always mean getting your way. If I would live my life always “winning”, I would never have a challenge, a mistake, or a time to learn from. Finding something that makes a person happy is the best part about life. After my experiences with dancing, I have been taught many lessons that will play key roles in the hopeful development of my future. Now, I am on a quest for success, keeping in mind that making it in society as a successful woman does not mean being the best at everything.