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Stepfamilies

Statistically, in our world today, half of all marriages will end in divorce. About fifty-percent of our population will also live in a stepfamily environment. In other words, more than half of the American families today, are now or eventually will be in involved in one or more stepfamily situations during their life according to the U. S. Census Bureau in 1990. The “U. S. Bureau decided to discontinue providing estimates of marriage, divorce, and remarriage, except for those that are available from our current census. Thus many of our current estimates were derived from the 1990 census and earlier sources” (Step Family Fact Sheet, 1).

Therefore the exact statistics in regards to stepfamilies today may be more or less from the estimated fifty- percent. Stepfamilies nowadays consist of many family members and are very complex. “Today’s stepfamily consists of you, me, your kids, my kids, our kids, your ex’es, my ex’es, even our ex’es new mates, and all the kin of these various folks. Stepfamilies give a new meaning to the concept of complex family relationships” (Hildebrand, 255). For that reason, the interactions within this family unit can be complicated and uncomfortable. There are many changes, positive and/or negative, that stepfamilies try to adapt to.

For instance, adults take on new parenting roles and children take on new roles as well, such as a new stepparent or sibling. The parents and/or children may be required to relocate into a completely different house in a completely new neighborhood or city, which leads to separation issues with their nuclear family. With all these issues at hand it is obvious that this can be very stressful for everyone. Even more, this causes even more stresses, such as money. An ecological factor such as economics can have a huge impact on stepfamilies. This means financial decisions within a stepfamily have more people contributing to economic decisions.

In turn, this can lead to more rules, emotions, and financial wishes and requests. When a couple decides to marry, especially for their second, third, or fourth time, it only brings in past experiences into the picture. Both spouses in the stepfamily most likely are in the work force as well. This also leads to the assumption that both spouses were head of the household in their previous marriage and have a promising career. Hence not only do they deal with the past but they have to decide how to deal with new financial situations, which may lead to anxiety and tension.

In a recent study of remarried couples, more than two-thirds indicated that financial matters were handled differently in this marriage than they had been handled in their previous marriage…. In fact, financial problems may have been a major factor from their first divorce” (Fletcher, 1). Apparently when a remarriage takes place, chances are children are involved. In this situation it is possible that one or both of the spouses have an engagement to not only support and raise their child but also now have to help support their new family.

According to the class text “Knowing and Serving Diverse Families”, Hildebrand touches on the topic of housing. According to Hildebrand, “It is usually not a good idea for the family to live in a residence that was formally the residence of the marriage partners. This can cause territorial feelings”. Although Hildebrand finds that previous literature stresses the importance of continuing contact and stability for the children within their previous neighborhoods and schools. Of course this is not always plausible, as it is hard to please every single person within the family unit.

In a functional aspect, this situation could create a positive aura in regards to family relationships. Interestingly when a divorced man remarries he typically is responsible for more financial responsibility, which can lead to the accountability for two families. In turn, when women remarry their financial stability usually improves. In conclusion, this shows that men and women tend to carry their financial status from a previous marriage/s. If this is the case, handlings of their economic resources may need to be changed to benefit the “new” family.

Some families may choose to combine their finances, whereas others may decide to keep their accounts separate. If a parent decides to keep their finances separate one reason may be because of child support. Often the courts will intervene. The law in support of child support was set in1978. The courts will help determine how much money is to be allotted and for how long for the custodial parent. Such issues may be childcare, health insurance, life insurance, child support payments, claiming children for legal purposes and lastly college tuition.

As of 1992, child support laws were changed due to several factors. For instance, if a non-custodial parent loses their job, becomes ill, or has had some form of family emergency, the child support agreement may have to be altered. Since child support is an issue that stands between two parents, there is usually a link between the parents forever. However this connection may lead to uncomfortable feelings. “Feelings of guilt, competition for the child, power struggles over visitation, attempts to substitute money for time with the children, all provide fertile ground for emotional conflicts” (Fletcher, 2).

In these situations, children may unfortunately become involved, as the parents may use them to get information or the parents will communicate through the children instead of parent to parent. Consequently, if this is the case, children may become the targets. Hopefully if this situation goes this far, the parents will decide to make financial decisions without the other parent and most importantly they will leave the child out of it. While managing stepfamily finances can be very difficult, there are some ideas for effective results and strategies to avoid.

According to the research article, “Financial Decision Making in Stepfamilies” by Sharon Leigh and Janet A. Clark, successful outcomes may be possible. Here are some of the following suggestions: talk about your past financial experiences before you marry; talk about how you as a couple would like handle the money for the family; outline a budget regarding finances; communicate about the financial situation as the children grow up; provide the opportunity for the older children within the family to make positive decisions by giving them a portion of their child support money (i. clothes); anticipate for unforeseen emergencies or issues; evaluate what really is important; relax.

As a result it is apparent that communication is “key to success. ” The authors Leigh and Clark also give some ideas/strategies to avoid. As already stated above, it is important to leave children out of struggles in regards to child support. It is also imperative to not use money as a “battleground” to express power. Another good idea is to not support you and your child separately from your spouse and their children.

This only leads to more conflict and can create the feeling of two separate feelings within one family. Last but not least, it is imperative to use child support money only for the welfare of the children. When a stepfamily does decide to combine all resources and uses them for everyone this is referred to as a “common pot”. As other stepfamilies may decide to keep finances separate (which is not advised by Leigh and Clark), this would be called “two pot”. Another way to look at these two economic styles is prenuptial or antenatal agreements.

These contracts define how funds and goods will be used and distributed. Other couples may also just make verbal agreements. If this is the case, there is no official documentation by the court, therefore if a problem was to arise; there would be no proof. From my research I feel that the ecological family theory best fits this diverse family-stepfamilies. This theory is also strongly influenced by Bronfenbrenner. “The most basic notion in the ecological approach is adaptation” (Klein, 211). This theory applies to any change in one system that will eventually influence another system.

The human and the environment effect human relationships. Therefore economics affects one system (nuclear family) and in turn it affects another system (stepfamily). Within this ecological theory there are three systems and which all interrelated. The first system is natural built-biological. This is something from Mother Nature that may be altered. For instance, in relation to the stepfamily, there may be a death within the nuclear family, such as cancer. Then the widow may decide to remarry into another family.

The second system is human-built. This is when humans come and alter change. Change is created in this system. When stepfamilies are new, it is likely that one of the families will relocate and possibly build a new home, in order to be able to incorporate the new family. The last system that is associated with the ecological theory is the socio-cultural system. This incorporates concepts or issues in society or culture that has an impact or influence on a situation, such relationships, parenting style, religion or politics.

Stepfamilies have to try and adapt to all sorts of elements, especially relationships and parenting styles. The definition of interdependence is a dependence on each other or mutual dependence. As a result, all three systems rely on each other, and all members of a stepfamily adapt to rely on each other. As the entire family is going through change. In conclusion, money is powerful in our society and always has been throughout history. Therefore money has a major impact on families and research show’s that it may even have a larger impact on stepfamilies.

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