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Personal Narrative: The Pain In My Body Essay

During this time of extreme suffering God would continually tell me, “Donna you will be better at the end of this then you were going into it. And, be thankful you are not paralyzed. ” The MRI was extremely painful for me. The MRI machine vibrates and the vibration sent my body into unexplainable horrid pain. I lost feeling in my entire right arm during the testing. Thad peace in my heart, but pain in my body. During the night I slept little because of all the pain. I was on painkillers, but they did not help. The drugs made me sluggish and not myself, but did not take the pain away. During the night while I was up I would pray.

The day before I got the MRI results God spoke to me. He said, “You will need a neurosurgeon, Dr. Neuro #1. ” God gave me this specific name of a doctor without me knowing him prior to the accident. Yes, here we go again with lists of doctors! Buckle up – it is about to get very interesting. I wrote down what God had said and thought nothing of it. I simply thought I had bulging discs like the emergency room doctor had suggested. My doctor called the very next morning and said, “Donna, you have a cyst in your neck and I am sending you to see Dr. Neuro #1 as soon as possible. ” Amazingly, Dr.

Neuro #1 was the exact doctor God had told me to go and see. I hung up the phone and was in shock. What kind of cyst? What could the problem be? My mother came over to take me to physical therapy and the chiropractor. I was crying and we prayed together. I decided to stop the physical therapy and chiropractor treatments until someone knew exactly what was wrong with me. It was strong in my heart for no one to touch my neck. I had to wait for a week to get into to see Dr. Neuro #1. It seemed like eternity. When you are being sent to a neurosurgeon – you do not want to wait. Before I saw the neurosurgeon, I had the EMG test.

A neurologist performed the test. It is a painful test where the doctor sends electricity through your arms, shoulders, and neck to see if you have nerve damage. They jab a needle into your nerves and move it around to see the extent of any nerve damage. My mom took me and sat in the corner of the room. She had a look of horror on her face as she watched this doctor torture me. I was already in so much pain. The test just magnified it. At the end of the test, the doctor concluded I had carpal tunnel in my right hand. I thought she was wrong. How could I have carpal tunnel? Thad never had any problems prior to the wreck.

She said my neck was not the source of my pain. At that point, I simply thought she was crazy and dismissed her diagnoses and opinion. The day finally arrived to see the neurosurgeon, and I thought they would do surgery on me that afternoon. I was in so much pain and unable to tolerate another day of the intensity. I was just sure they would help me immediately. My husband, mom, dad, and best friend all went with me to the doctor’s office. Kevin and I went back to the treatment room. We did not even see Dr. Neuro #1. Instead, we saw a physician’s assistant. Apparently, it is normal for the first visit to not see the doctor.

He looked at my MRI and walked into the room. He was very calm and seemed kind. He told me I had four bulging discs and a syrinx in my spinal cord. I had never heard the word syrinx, so we asked him to spell it for us. He said I had a bad case of whiplash and I needed to go home and lie still till March 2005. He did not offer any other help. I was devastated. The pain in my body was unbearable and now I had to go home and lie still for months. It seemed so insane to me. Why would they not help me? Kevin, my parents, and Rose were as shocked as I was. Trecall walking up the stairs to my bedroom when we got home and hearing God speak.

He said, “Just be patient. ” I cannot even describe the next few weeks of my life except to say hell looked good to me. Pain shot throughout my body like bolts of electricity while I had constant pain in my neck. All my muscles were torn and had to heal while my nerves were damaged. The medications made it difficult to have bowel movements and I had to literally crawl on the floor to get to the bathroom. My body was ravaged with pain from my head to my toes. I was bed ridden and desperate. Nothing took the pain away day or night. I would listen to worship music and it would help my body relax, but nothing stopped the pain.

My eyesight would come go and my ability to hear was less every day. My bedroom quickly became like a hospital room with drugs and special neck pillows to support my body. I thought about how God had told me to just be patient. So, I decided to look up the word patient. I always thought it meant to wait, but it means much more. To be patient is to endure pain without complaining. Honestly, I thought that was a lot to ask of me. We met with the neurosurgeon again in March and it was evident to me I was not improving.

If it was whiplash, I should be improving. I made such a scene in the doctor’s office the physician’s assistant went and got Dr. Neuro #1 and he came in the room. I had studied about the syrinx and had even sent my MRI to the National Institute of Health for another opinion. Both Dr. Neuro #1 and the NIH agreed to do nothing about the syrinx and I did not have Chiari. Chiari is a brain malformation, which can cause a syrinx in the spinal cord. Dr. Neuro #1 said he wanted me to see a pain specialist and keep a close eye on my case. So, he sent me to a pain specialist in his office. I saw the pain specialist within a couple of days and he suggested trigger point injections in my back. I agreed. I would have agreed to allow them to cut my head off.

The pain in my body was relentless. The specialist did the injections in the office and I went home. Within hours I was in worse pain that continued to grow worse by the hour. I literally thought I would die. I went back to the office and the specialist was surprised. He had never seen a reaction like mine. He gave me stronger pain medications. Also, he ordered another MRI and EMG test run. I simply felt desperate. I agreed to anything they asked of me. The pain specialist lifted up my head and looked into my eyes. He said, “Donna, give the syrinx no place, you will get better! I wanted my life back. Every day, all twenty-four hours of the day, I suffered without relief.

My neck was swollen and my body ravaged with pain, pain I cannot put into words. My personality was altered because of the pain and medications. I was miserable without a break. I wanted to be well again. I would think about the dream God had given me and focus on the fact at the end of the dream I was okay. Even though my body was in pain, I went ahead with a scheduled conference in March 2005. Stupid, I know, but I felt I had to do it. I taught on “Just Be Patient. ” The conference was for me.

It was God preparing me for the year ahead. I recall a man from my church sitting beside me between sessions and he said over and over in his heart all he could hear was, “and it came to pass. ” In other words whatever we would go through would pass. It was only temporary. April came and it appeared as if I was getting better. I recall on April 17, 2005, I did not have to take a pain pill. I thought the entire nightmare was over. I lay on my bed praising God I had endured and my life was coming back. He spoke clearly to me, “Donna, you will always go the hard way, but you will always overcome! ”

That statement might have bothered someone else, but not me. I saw the good. I heard the fact I would always overcome. Life presents pain for all. No one is exempt. Thad the knowledge no matter what came my way, I would overcome. To me it was a blessing. Also, in April, I kept sensing something was headed our way in the fall. I prayed often. It was as if I saw a semi-truck headed to our house. I prayed it would be over before we even knew what had happened. I was also led to pray it would end with me before it began with Miranda. I had no idea what my future would hold. But, I trusted God held my future.

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