My Instruction Manuel When in a relationship I expect respect from that other person and nothing but respect. Even though we all know that this is not what we always get. When in an intimate relationship there are things that we wish we could control but that we sometimes just can’t. One of those things that we can’t always control is the way that people treat us. Another, is the way the other person communicates with us. As we know what we say is irreversible, irreplaceable, and irretrievable. In this think piece I will explain to you how I expect to be treated in an intimate relationship.
Sadly we can’t control the reaction we want the other person to have. Above all in an intimate relationship I will not live in fear. This essay will explain how I feel that I should act in a relationship and my job as a communicator in a relationship and my own personal instruction manual on how I would expect to be treated and communicated with in an intimate relationship. As we know we all have our own flaws and are not by any means perfect at anything. I know that when communicating with my partner I do not always do the right things; but I try.
When identifying myself through communication there are many ways to describe my communication style. I am a person that will keep buying the same perfume for years because I feel that that scent fits my personality. This is a key aspect of how I could be identified non-verbally; by olfactory communication. I identify by being the kind of person that will rub your back when you don’t feel good. I feel that this is another way I could be identified non-verbally through touch messages. I identify again non-verbally by the clothes I put on in the mornings.
I can be dentified verbally by my accent that I have obtained from being raised in Western North Carolina. I also think that people along with myself identify me as being enculturated. This would be due to my lack of travel and experience with other cultures. I feel that people can identify me as a respectful communicator and one that is kind with her words. Now that I’ve told you how people along with myself identify me I will tell you about how I react in different situations. an intimate relationship I do When responding to a partner not always respond the ideal way but I strive to do so.
If I were to feel threatened in a relationship I use eye avoidance as a way of communicating that fear I have. I also use this eye avoidance technique when it is just simply disrespectful to look at what is happening nearby; such as a mother disciplining her child. I use facial management more now than I used to when I was younger and I practice this in daily conversations with everyone I have a conversation with. When in an intimate relationship I feel that my reaction can be grasped simply by the facial expressions that I show.
I try and strive to respond in ways that are socially cceptable but being a young woman with hormones I can admit I do not always do so. When reacting to situations that are sad and overwhelming, I cry, no matter the place I am. This would be considered as something that would be considered as not socially acceptable. While knowing that in the U. S. there are certain “display rules” to use while in public. I feel that these “display rules” are often unfair and show gender inequalities. When responding my key priority is to be respectful no matter the situation.
I expect the person I would be in a relationship ith to do the same thing, be respectful. After reading Interpersonal Messages by Joseph A. DeVito I have learned to put myself in the other persons shoes and really think about the reaction I am about to give the other person. When reacting I feel that I own up to my feelings. After owning up to my feelings I can easily describe the reason I feel this way. As I know this is not always easy for others to do so I still expect for my partner in an intimate relationship to own up and describe the reason they feel that way too.
When responding in good situations I show that by a raise in he tone of my voice to show excitement but I feel a raise in our tone of voice can be disrespectful in some bad situations such as arguments. In positive situations you can bet that there will be a smile on my face and I expect that from people that I have relationships with because I feel that they should express their emotions also. When In bad situations I can be overwhelmed easily. You can tell this by my facial expression I will show my emotion usually by showing a distressed look and a frown on my face.
When situations have emotional attachment I will often ry if they are negative and laugh if positive. I am a pretty predictable person when it comes to the reactions that I give. I am very consistent with these common reactions. An example of a reaction in a scary time was me having a high pitched tone in my voice and very jittery. I will express this by raising the tone or lowering the tone depending on the situation. When in a relationship I feel my reactions will help the other person to know how to get things back on track. When getting things back on track I expect for my partner first of all to be respectful when communicating.
Stay a comfortable proxemics distance from me. Most of all to not use touch messages in a negative way. When intimate relationship I expect for our communication to display openness and honesty. I expect for us both to not be aggressive and attack each other in communication through lashing out. When getting to this point I would expect us both to stop, think, talk and then listen to what the other has to say. I could also see a 48 hour rule useful too. When you wait 48 hours and see if the situation still upsets you then you would tell your partner.
While having serious onversations I would expect us to do that privately and in person. When in a relationship times can get tough and communication can sometimes fail still. When that happens in an intimate relationship I find it best to just take some time away from the other person. I feel that if my partner and I can use these few procedures we will have less unnecessary misunderstandings and arguments. While writing this second think piece I think that I have learned where I personally fail to accurately communicate. I feel that this will help me to work on those things.
When researching or this I found a 48 hour rule that I can see saving a lot of disagreements. I have learned so much about how I communicate to my partner and have also let him read this. I think that by him reading this he will know better what I expect out of a serious partner. I can see the insights I have gained from writing this very helpful in not only intimate relationships but also in others because of the knowledge the book has given me. I hope by reading this it will give you insights on what I have gained from my Interpersonal communications class and how I am and expect to be treated.