We go our whole lives in a state of looking for something or someone which reminds us of the stable idea of safety. Whether that be a comfort blanket given to you by your mother at the age of 5, that for some reason you still keep it under your bed to fight away the monsters at night. Or a relationship with someone you can’t keep your eyes off of for more than a second because you’re afraid they’ll do something incredibly adorable and you’ll miss it. Either way, when these things are taken away from us we fall back on ourselves wondering if we could ever feel comfortable without these safety nets to catch us.
So what would happen if the comfort blanket was to be taken away from the whole world simultaneously? If every memorable moment was forgotten and lost? Well, that would be exactly what is happening. January 23rd 2061. I was given approximately 3 to 4 months of life left. My world would inevitably be coming to a halt and I would surely die a most painful death at the end of it. However, it certainly comforted me to know I wouldn’t be dying alone. The whole world would be joining me. A whole world lost.
Memories of every single being who ever lived, lost in a few single moments. History abandoned and everything anybody ever gave their lives for would never have actually mattered at all. The thought of the end of the world is a funny thing really. The first few warnings back in the 90s blabbering on about how the rays from the sun were one day going to infiltrate our o-zone layer and cook us all till we burst. It all seemed like nothing, just a rumour spread by million dollar corporations to frighten mothers into drowning their children in high brand products.
Situations like that make me wonder, if every average person like myself, chose to ignore it, would it surely go away? Just like in year 9, when little snotty-nosed Peter Young had a crush on me and made it his personal goal to stare at me the whole way through every single religious studies lesson we had for a whole 2 months. Until I finally alerted my best friend, who then gave me the greatest advice I had ever heard; “Ignore it and it will go away… eventually. ” She wasn’t wrong. Three weeks later, after dodging every interaction with him as physically possible, he eventually caved.
Then he moved on to my best friend. It would have been helpful for her to take her own advice from then on. Or even back in 2017 when Trump became president and the whole country began to fear for their rights being taken away and the rest of the world feared for the impact it would have on them. When the news broke, I was sat with Tony, my boyfriend of 3 wonderful years, fiance of 6 months and step-father to my beautiful little girl, Natalia. We had just got home from our monthly date night; this month was bowling and Tal was with my mother for the evening.
We got home and turned on the TV expecting to see a rerun of the remake of Friends; the episode where Rachel gets off the plane for the thousandth time, you’d think this show would have died down after being over for 50 years. Instead, the news was everywhere. We already had the warnings the past couple of weeks about the comet heading in the direction of earth; yet scientists and the army insisted they were going save the day with their super lazars and blow the comet up. Yet this announcement was different to the others.
This announcement told us that there would be no more scientists or armies trying to save the day because all their attempts of taking the comet down had failed. This announcement told us we were all going to die simultaneously as we came in contact with the comet they call “Halley” as it destroyed our earth and everything on it. Once the news ended and channels resumed their normal schedule, things felt…different. Something about knowing your own time of death before it actually happens can make a person go crazy. Suddenly, nothing seemed to make sense to me.
The plan to get married to Tony next winter or to have three beautiful children; two girls and a boy, raise them and grow old together. It seemed like nothing like that mattered anymore; we were going to die soon and there wasn’t anything anybody could do about it. My mind began to fizz. Every possibility I have ever missed to do something fantastic with my life had passed me by. I know being twenty-eight and being a mother of a six-year-old girl has its limits even if you weren’t going to die in 3 to 4 months. Yet it felt as though any chance at an alternative opportunity to have a happier, better life has been thrown out of the window.
Everything seemed to stay the same for a while; People stayed in their jobs, paid bills. Children went to school, people continued to shop like the things they would buy could actually make a difference when they were all soon to be dead anyway. Days slowly turned into a week and nothing had changed. I, on the other hand had been ticking things off my bucket list, considering I was about to die and all, I figured now would be as good of a time as any. I quit my job and took Tal out of school; people thought I was going crazy and I wasn’t certain if they were wrong.
Tony on the other hand decided to continue to live his ordinary life whilst we spent the first week in bed. I lay fixated on Natalia as she attempted to count the hairs on her head again, I couldn’t shake the fact I’m not going to know what she will look like in years to come. Everything became so real, more real than before because now I’m not just losing my life and all the opportunities I have lost but I’m also losing her life; all off her possibilities, hopes and dreams. A burst of anger fills my body with adrenaline forcing me to get to my feet startling Natalia in the process.
Mummy, what are you doing? Get back in, you made me lose count! Now I have to start over again! ” I begin rummaging through drawers, spilling clothing all over the floor. Grabbing three bags; one for each of us and I start to fill them with belongings. I pull the zip on the final bag, Tal is watching me intensely. I indicate for her to come closer. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I crouch to be level with her and hold both her little hands in mine. There would be no way I was going to let her unknowingly spend last few months be spent in bed all day every day. “Listen closely honey.
When your dad comes home we’re all going to go on an adventure together, would you like that? ” I try my best not to let the tears show but my voice catches and I let one slip out, wiping it away hoping it went unnoticed. She nods her head yes and I pull her in to hug her. The bags are packed at the door. Natalia and I sit, waiting for Tony, watching the news to see if there had been any recent activity. There had been rumours of riots down in Ohio, People looting, causing fights and a few deaths occurred but nobody seemed to believe it or be bother by any of it.
All the media seemed to be keeping everything hidden as though people weren’t already aware of their inevitable death. Tony wouldn’t be home for another 2 hours and until then I decided it would be a great idea to plan and make a last supper for the three of us and of course the menu would be decided by Natalia. We spend at least half an hour emptying the content on the cupboards onto the kitchen table sorting through everything we could use. Why is it that we have so many uneaten tins of baked beans and sweetcorn?
Time flew by, we had been enjoying ourselves so much creating our masterpiece of a menu, we hardly noticed when the door opened and Tony came home. I heard a faint voice coming from the hallway over the sound of the blender filled with foods you probably shouldn’t blend. “Maddie, what’s all this? ” “We’re in the kitchen honey! ” “Madison, why are there suitcases in the hallway? ” “What was that honey? I can’t hear you, Come into the kitchen” I see him standing in the doorway, the bags I had packed by his feet and a look on his face that could only be described as somewhere between shock and disappointment.
It dawned on me that I didn’t have a plan. I had three bags, a couple of grand that we had been saving for the past few years and no idea where to go or what I would do. The sound of Tony’s voice got drowned out by the piercing screams coming from outside. Judging from Tony who still remained irrationally furious with me and Tal who stayed seated at the kitchen table, her stare passionately fixed waiting for the microwave to finish its countdown, it seemed as though I was the only one who could hear it.
Those deafening cries echoing down the street, car horns and shop alarms all at once yet it appeared as though it hit me before anybody else. It must be the riots. My trance broken by the final beeping from the microwave and instincts kicked in. I rushed through to Natalia’s room and then into my own, checking one final time that there was nothing important we could have forgotten to pack. Tal’s eyes filled with fear as the screams and crashes became louder yet she didn’t hesitate to jump to her feet in my aid of getting ready to leave.
A sudden tight grip took hold of my arm and I froze. “Madison! What are you doing? What’s going on? ” His voice stern yet trebling with unknown fear. “We have to leave. It isn’t save for us to stay here. ” “What do you mean it isn’t safe? We will be fine as long as we lock the doors and stay inside, trust me! ” His grip tightened around my wrist as he continued his attempt to convince me that I was being ridiculous, as usual. “Natalia, help me get the stuff to the car sweetie? ” “You’re not taking our child out into the world whilst there are riots going on, what kind of mother are you? I pull myself free from his clasp, remaining eye contact the whole time.
He knew he had some form of power over me yet I was not sitting in the cold and dark for weeks on end just waiting for the end of the world to come. Just because it seemed like the safer option to the same guy who thought taking a crumpet out of the toaster with a knife because he ‘couldn’t reach it with his fingers’ was a good idea. “You can either come with us and run or stay here and hide. I am not wasting my daughters last weeks on this earth cooped up in this tiny flat just because you’re scared.
We will get away from the violence and have the time of our lives. ” He stood surprised. I had never stood up to him like that before but there was something about the end of the world that brings out a whole other side in people. I pick up my baseball cap from the arm of the couch and place it on my head adjusting it to fit and I look down at Tal who was stood next to her bag all ready to go with her own matching cap and stuffed panda in her arms. “So are you coming with us or not? ”
