Though, Castiel had never seen the man reading a book, it was odd to say the least; coming to a place made for books but not read a book. Castiel didn’t think much about the issue, he was usually daydreaming about how it would feel to touch that honey like hair or how it would be the man’s reaction if he ever caught him staring. Castiel presumed that the man only accompanied someone to the library and was always waiting for them to comeback, and Castiel never stuck around to see who it may be. Perhaps he was not ready yet to see a beautiful woman running toward the man and then kissing and clinging to him nnoyingly.
Hours of just staring turned into days, days became weeks and weeks prolonged to months. Castiel got tried of just making sex eyes at the stranger. If he’s going to ever talk to anyone and put his useless insecurities aside, this is the perfect time, the perfect time to not be a coward. One day, he decided, determination was filling him up from head to toe, to finally talk to the man that has been distracting him from doing anything. He just wanted to know the name of the stranger, he wanted to put a name to that face.
Castiel entered the library, his eyes immediately falling onto the nfamous man, he had his arms folded on top of the table and his head was buried in them. Was he taking a nap? Was he tired? Should Castiel be disturbing him now of all days? It could wait, tomorrow could be better. No, no. For all the things Castiel knows, tomorrow a meteor may come crashing into earth, erasing humanity from the existence, and then the skies and stars would stare down at earth with pity because there was a human that lived upon it who was a little coward, was scared of his wits to talk to a man and died mourning over it.
Castiel gathered all the courage he found within him and walked o the table in front of him. As soon as he slipped in the chair facing the man, the latter head shot up, his eyes half closed and mouth slightly agape. It somehow was a cute sight. “Sam! You’re done early today! My butt hurts from sitting too long in this boring place. ” The man said, his tone hopeful. “It’s not Sam. ” Castiel said shortly, not sure of how to start this fateful conversation.
At that unexpected answer, in opposition to his mouth that was now closed into a straight line, his eyes were wide open, and for Pete’s sake, why did the sun decide to rise high in the sky now, aking the man look as ethereal as ever. Oh wait, now that they’re close, Castiel saw freckles swimming in the other’s rosy cheeks. Castiel gulped visibly. This is not going to be a nice experience at all, and right about now the skies and stars must be laughing in glee as though his life was a ludicrous theater play. It was. “Who are you? ” The man asked, staring widely at Castiel.
Actually, not exactly at Castiel but somewhere between his shoulder and neck, but he wasn’t paying attention to such trivial details. “I’m Castiel. ” He said, surprisingly calm, he reached his right and to the man to shake, but it was left there hanging awkwardly, Castiel clenched it to a fist and hugged it back to himself. There was an awkward pause between them where neither of them attempted to talk, and Castiel began to suspect that he may or may not be happy if that goddamn meteor came now falling onto his head, saving him for this helpless situation. This man, for all Castiel knows, could be a dick with zero personality. For your information-” the man began his sentence and Castiel held his breath waiting for some sort of polite alternative to fuck off. -if you -I’m just assuming cause it happens a lot- just gave me your hand to shake and I didn’t and now you’re contemplating whether you should kill me or murder me for making it awkward. I did not see it, since you know, I’m blind. ”
Castiel was not expecting this. “I’m Dean by the way. ” Dean said, his lips twitching into a small smile. Castiel was shocked by how of an asshole he was to prejudge someone that fast, not by the fact that the man was blind, that, in fact, did not make him any less attractive. Oh. ” Castiel said, a breathless laugh escaped his lips. “Actually, I as hoping a meteor would just crash into earth to save me. ” “Well, isn’t that a nice and a creative, but most importantly a painless way to die? ” Dean said playfully. Castiel felt himself relax at the nice attitude he was receiving. And now that he knows the information, he noticed that Dean was not looking at Castiel’s face all this time, he was shifting from his shoulder to his chest. “About that, I have a whole list of nice ways to die, I could let you see it, if you want. ” Castiel said nonchalantly.
Dean knotted his eyebrows. “I couldn’t see it even if I wanted to. Dean said solemnly. Castiel fought the urge to punch his own face. “Oh my god, sorry, I ju-” “Geez, I’m obviously joking, ease up man. I’m pretty chill, I don’t get offended easily, unless you do or say something very bad, then I will not hesitate to punch you in the throat. ” Dean said, glaring at nothing in particular, his hand raised in a fist. The gesture was everything but threatening, quite the opposite, it was so endearing, Castiel’s face was supporting a ridiculous grin.
“Why do you come here if you don’t like the place? Castiel tried to strike a conversation. “Uhm… hh, it’s not that I don’t like the place.. ” Dean trailed off, Castiel assumed it was a touchy subject. “You can tell me, I’m just a stranger anyway, we probably won’t talk ever again. ” Castiel did not mean what he said at all, hell if he isn’t going to sit in this chair everyday, now that he talked to Dean, he’s never going to stop. Dean sighed, visibly thinking if he should say what he had to say or not. At last , he decided: fuck it, who really cares if he spilled it out? “Well, I don’t hate libraries, they’re just nostalgic to me.
Before you know, loosing my sight, I was a book worm as one might call t. I would read every book in the local libraries, from biology and physics to how to cook lasagna. After things happened, I stopped reading for quite some time, and even after I got used to the Braille, it was not the same as seeing the words with your eyes, scanning the information and absorbing it into your brain. I miss reading so much, and being in a library that’s full of books, books ready to be read, yet I can’t read any of them is… ” Dean trailed off again, not sure what label he should put on his feelings. I come here because it’s relaxing… ” Dean was now looking at his lap, fumbling with his fingers, his breathing was disoriented, and his tone was full of sadness, Castiel’s heart clenched in his rib cage. Why do the good people have to suffer? “I’m-” “Save it. ” Dean interrupted him. “I’ve heard enough half hearted I’m sorry’s throughout my whole life, I don’t need a stranger’s pity. ” “I wasn’t going to say l’m sorry. ”
Castiel said, his tone was solemn and serious. “I was going to say, l’m proud of you and that you are one of the strongest, if not the strongest person I’ve ever met. I envy your bravery. Dean looked up at Castiel, their gaze met for the first time. His eyes were glossy and as wide as ever. Castiel knew that Dean was fighting tears. It was easy to read the man’s emotions. It’s almost unfair how Dean is unable to see the true world surround him through his eyes, but the world was able to see the true him just through his eyes. Dean shifted his eyes to his lap again and whispered an almost inaudible Why would you say that. He did not mean it as Give me an explanation to why you think I’m strong. But it was a more of No one had ever said this to me, I don’t know how to react to this.
When I was twelve-” Castiel decided if Dean gave him a piece of him, he should give something back. “-I had eyes surgery and I had to do it immediately. When I woke up after the surgery, there was a bandage around my head, covering my eyes. I had a seizure, I thought I was blind. It took three nurses to get me under control. When I woke up the second time, there was a doctor next me, he explained that I was not blind and that I had to put on the bandage until my eyes heal. I was practically blind for a month, I did not differentiate between day and night, I just sat there in silence looking at the dark.
Being a child didn’t help the situation, all of my childish fears became reality, I hallucinated that there were monsters in the room that tried kill me in my sleep, I could’ve sworn that I physically felt them. I cried and cried but no one really cared. And that experience resulted an adult that’s terrified of the dark. ” Castiel finished with a deep sigh. Dean was no longer looking at his lap, and now was staring at Castiel, his face closer to him, as though to hear the story more clearly. “I…… you said I was strong? No. You are strong. ” Dean was stunned, how dare Castiel envy his bravery when he was the braver.
After a silence, that was not awkward, in fact a needed silence, they both had to collect themselves back to normal. Dean broke the silence with a small breathy laugh. “What? ” Castiel asked. “It’s just, I just met you like what? Half an hour ago, and I feel connected to you more than anyone I’ve known for years. ” Dean said, a small smile playing on his lips. “It takes one to know one. ” Castiel said and Dean nodded in agreement. “Holy shit! Did I go blind or did Dean Winchester just made a friend? ” Suddenly, a tall man materialized in front of Dean and Castiel. The man was tall and built, green eyes and long hair.
He was handsome. Shut up asshole. Sam, this is Castiel, Castiel this is Sam, my brother. ” “Hello. ” Sam said warmly and shook Castiel’s hand. “Dean we have to go. ” Sam urged his brother, who slipped out of his chair easily, and Castiel assumed that it took so much practice to just do that simple act. Dean reached under the table and picked up his stick and unfolded it. “It was nice meeting you Castiel. ” Dean said looking at Castiel’s general direction. “The feeling is mutual. And by the way, I lied when I said that we won’t be talking after today. Keep this chair clear for me because you won’t be sitting here alone from now on. “
